“It probably doesn’t happen in every family, but our six-year-old daughter often gets really angry,” says Amy. For example, if I forbid her from watching another episode of Paw Patrol or if she can’t have sweets with her breakfast, she glares at me and yells, ‘I hate you!’ Every time a little breaks my heart. ‘
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Amy was never quite sure how to respond to that comment. Let her child cool down, or tell her not to say things like that? ‘I now know what to do because I consulted a specialist in child development,’ she says. ‘It says that as a parent you have to realize that your child does not mean it personally. Of course your child doesn’t hate you, he’s just angry. ‘
‘After the umpteenth outburst of anger I thought: this cannot be done like this any longer’>
According to the expert, it is important to put aside your own hurt feelings at such a time, Amy explains. You should use your child’s outburst to help your child develop emotionally. You do this by confirming his feelings. So say, for example, “Wow, you’re really mad. Tell me what you’re so angry about. ”
There is an exception: your child is not allowed to berate you. According to the expert, it is not okay if your child calls you stupid. Hating someone describes a feeling. But saying someone is stupid is tantamount to calling names, ”says Amy.
She advised me to run away from my daughter and not pay any more attention to her. And once she cools down, explaining that she doesn’t have to like me and be mad at me, but that we don’t scold each other at home. ”
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