‘It has actually improved our sex life’

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Once a month, Wendy has sex with a woman, with her husband’s approval.

Wendy (44), married for 18 years to Matthijs (42), sons Twan (10) and Finn (7):

“In corona time I discovered my bisexual side. I’ve always been curious about women, especially breasts. But until then it had remained a fantasy. During the period when we were hardly allowed to have contact, I had terrible skin hunger and craved the softness of a woman’s body. The time to do something serious with it.

When it comes to sex, I have a huge drive anyway. I was fascinated from a young age. Thirteen, when I first played with myself. I used an electric toothbrush with a special head and discovered what I liked. I lost my virginity when I was sixteen.

High libido

During our marriage, except for short periods when the children were just born, I had a high libido. But it was never as extreme as during my pregnancies. Then I was addicted to sex. I watched porn every day and we did it until the last day. There is clearly a connection between hormones and lust for me.

I like it best in the evening, when we’re both freshly showered and shaved. Position 69 is extra tasty. Early in the morning I like starting on top and ending doggystyle better, because of the morning smell. I can only cum if I’m on top and can decide everything, but almost never during penetration. I also don’t get an orgasm through fingering or eating pussy. I have a picky cat, I always say, because with a vibrator it’s done in a minute. That’s why I have a suitcase full of sex toys.

Skin hunger

Before, I couldn’t stand touching and hugs, because of a traumatic childhood. But the one and a half meter society hacked into me psychologically. Suddenly I turned. I had a strong need for warmth and caresses. I wanted Matthijs to massage and caress me continuously, but it was never enough for me. Hiring a masseur at forty euros per treatment could have been a solution, but would be an expensive joke. Meanwhile, I was also still fantasizing about a woman. Could lesbian sex give me that much-needed skin-to-skin contact?

Sex with a woman

I loved Matthijs immensely and was very attracted to him. It certainly wasn’t that I had grown tired of him and wanted to fuck outside. Monogamy was the deal 20 years ago and we stuck to it. Only sex with a woman did not fall under that definition in my opinion. It was different, not threatening. I would never leave him for a woman.

Matthijs did not immediately say yes. He was unsure at first: wasn’t he enough for me? It was also a bit unfair: I can’t imagine him getting into bed with someone else, I’m terrified that he’ll run off. But when he saw how badly I wanted it, he agreed anyway.

I decided to register on dating site Bi Love. Almost all women there are married or in a relationship with a man. A large part of them is looking for a threesome with a man, another part is looking around for a (one-off) girlfriend experience. I had explicitly stated in my profile that I had no experience and was looking for a female, fuller type, with large breasts. I was happy to see that there were more like me and I got a lot of responses quickly.

Read also – ‘My husband is fine with me having a relationship with a woman outside of our marriage’ >

Dates

On my first date, I went for a walk. We then kissed and felt in the bushes for a while. Strange, but nice. I wanted to meet again, but she had found someone else in the meantime. The second was a young girl of 29 years old. Not only did she live an hour and a half away, she was also in a different phase. Still, she became my first time. That happened at our house. Just during the day, husband and children were at work and school.

We started in the jacuzzi and then moved to the bedroom. There were candles burning and tasty drinks on the bedside table. We are then all the way gone. It was special and horny and tasted like more, but there was no follow-up. Every time I wanted to meet up, she dropped out. After six months I was so frustrated that I started looking further.

“It’s like a girlfriends afternoon, except we retreat to the bedroom”

First I encountered another disappointment: a woman who really wanted her husband to watch and immediately got out of bed and left after she came. But in the end I met the right one: Angelique. Married like me, with older children and living in the same city. When we see each other it’s like a friends afternoon, except that after chatting and wine we retire to the bedroom and satisfy each other. Our men have met each other and think it’s fine if we have a sex date like this once a month.

Excited

With her in my life, I got exactly what I wanted. Making love to a woman is equal. I’m not the slimmest, but I feel comfortable with Angelique. We both had children, you understand each other’s insecurities. My role is different than when I have sex with a man. The sex with Matthijs is harder and rougher and I like to be dominated. With Angelique it’s more caressing, kissing and oral. The only downside is that when I’m very excited, I really miss a penis. But luckily we have toys for that.

“The sex with Matthijs is rougher, with Angelique it is more caressing”

I see Angelique as a nice addition, but she will never replace Matthijs. I still refer to myself as straight, but with the occasional side trip. No one around me knows about this side. Incidentally, it has only improved our sex life.

Matthijs doesn’t want to know any details of my lovemaking with a woman. But the thought excites him. For example, afterwards we have sex for over an hour as standard. The last time it was all a party. He unexpectedly entered the house early while we were busy upstairs. When he heard Angelique cumming screaming, he was so horny that we were busy half the night.”

Do you also want to be interviewed for this section? Then you will receive a ‘fun package’ from EasyToys worth € 75. Mail to redactie@kekmama.nl.

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