‘My mother thinks you are filthy’

As a mother you have to be able to handle a bit of dirt, but some children push the limits of what you can tolerate as a human being.

Nina (32): “Our neighbor children have a constant cold. At least, in my opinion. They always both have a huge blob of snot hanging from their noses. I’ve tried countless times with a big wad of paper to clean things up a bit, but a minute later it’s dripping again. And then they also eat very dirty. Smack, mouth open; I can’t stand it and that’s why they never get anything tasty from me.

“Smack, mouth open; I can’t stand it and that’s why they never get anything tasty from me”

Recently I grumbled about it to my friend and without me realizing it, Lisa (5) got it. ‘We don’t get cake here, because my mother thinks you’re filthy,’ I heard her say. I was embarrassed and tried to make up for it with an uneasy laugh by handing out bags of chips. I can still see the snot bubbles dripping into those chip-crushing mouths. Brrr.”

Read also – Poo, lice, puke and snot: ‘Getver, children are so dirty’ >

Ceremonial farewell

Jolien (35): “With three neighboring children in tow, Jessie (5) recently walked into our garden. She had found something. It was some kind of mouse, it was dead and had to be buried, with flowers on top, she said dead serious. I hardly dared to look into her hands at those words.

“He was dead and had to be buried, with flowers on top, she said dead serious”

Still I did. There was a rat. A rat that was already decomposing. I screamed ‘gaddamme’ so loud that she immediately dropped the beast from her hands. Then I worked it out of the garden with a shovel and put Jessie under the shower. I urged my daughter to never again spontaneously play pet funeral entrepreneur. However, I fear this will not be the last time.”

This article appears in Kek Mama 11-2022.

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