Leonie hasn’t had sex for a few years: ‘I didn’t feel like having that polonaise on my body anymore’

“Christmas Day 2018 was the last time my boyfriend and I had sex. When he finished, I informed him that I would stop with these kinds of ‘presents’. I didn’t feel like having that polonaise on my body anymore. Before that, we actually only did it on Sundays and public holidays. When it was Daan’s birthday, or on Father’s Day. Without too much passion. It was an act like brushing teeth or gluing my bicycle tire: all very plastic. In the end I felt like a cheap prostitute who occasionally opened and closed her legs.

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A ‘cold’

At that time, Daan and I had been in a relationship for thirteen years. We never had a spectacular sex life, but in our courtship we still did it every week. Never on my initiative, by the way. I have never been officially diagnosed as asexual, but I recognize myself in it. I’ve always been a ‘cold’. Miss the feeling of horniness or deep desire for another body. I found missionary position exciting enough and things like toys, vibrators or lingerie were also not for me. I also only came twice. Sometimes Zane licked me, but I held it off. Otherwise he wanted me to satisfy him orally too and I think that’s downright nasty.

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Top team

Actually, I hoped that Daan was a bit tired after thirteen years, after all, he was already over fifty. Someone once said, ‘Quitting sex is the same as quitting smoking. The longer you don’t do it, the less you miss it ‘. It is true for me, but unfortunately that does not apply to my boyfriend. Daan says he needs sex to be happy.

I think he gives it too many credits because without sex we’re fine. Other than this topic, we never argue. We are real buddies and thrive as parents of three children. I often say that to Daan: ‘I understand that you would rather bounce like rabbits, but accept that we are a top team as a couple’. If the need is great, he will only look for a porno and use his hand. I no longer lend myself to this. ”

This article is in Kek Mama 15-2020.

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