Josje Huisman: ‘Being pregnant is a kind of superpower’

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How do you feel?
“I have a lot of energy at the moment, full of ideas. My hormones aren’t going all the way either. The first trimester was a kind of rollercoaster, now I’m very calm. Although I often get a mental breakdown on the days when I say that, haha. The first weeks I was tired and especially very nauseous. I don’t remember feeling this bad when I was pregnant with Kamari. Although you might also repress those kinds of things, haha. Now I feel powerful, and I enjoy the pregnancy: being pregnant is a kind of superpower after all. Do I still have cravings? Fresh herring! I will definitely send Leon out every other day to get one.”

What went through your mind when you held the positive test in your hands?
“I actually wanted to postpone testing as long as possible. I don’t really know why either. Maybe because I thought I didn’t need that confirmation. I kept track of my cycle very clearly, we had decided that we would like to have a child together… so when I didn’t get my period, I knew enough. Even though I still didn’t feel any different than normal. When I was asked for a fairly intensive television program, which I could not participate in while pregnant, I needed a definite answer. Then, one day after my birthday, I took a test. Because I didn’t feel pregnant yet, the real confirmation for me only came when we saw the heart beating on the very first ultrasound.”

“Do I still have cravings? Fresh herring!”

What does Kamari think about becoming a big brother?
“He is overjoyed that he will ‘finally’ be a big brother. It’s taken him way too long. I think the age difference is ideal. He can take care of himself so well, no longer needs bottles or diapers. Two of those very little ones I had become spicy. He is 4.5 when the baby is born and experiences the pregnancy very consciously.

He really hoped for a sister, but there will be a brother. He still regularly says he wants a sister, but honestly I think he’s all right with it in the end. Maybe it’s more fun to have a little brother who also likes football and cars. Then Kamari can teach him all about it. I myself had no preference, was not concerned with it at all. It is that Leon was curious about the gender, otherwise I would not have known what it will be.”

For your partner Leon it is his first child. Is it about the moon?
“He loves it. He really can’t wait either. Neither do I, by the way, we think – just like Kamari – it’s been taking way too long, haha. It is very nice to see how curious and enthusiastic he is. He also finds it very special to see how our baby grows in me. I think he is a natural dad, even when I see how well he gets along with my son.”

“I think Leon is a born father, even when I see how well he gets along with my son”

You are a blended family. Was that difficult in the beginning?
“No, actually it happened very organically. Kamari knows very well that Leon is the new baby’s daddy and he has his own daddy. He also goes there very regularly, although he spends most of his time with me. I also never announced Leon as ‘the new love of my life’. He was just there. In the beginning he came by every now and then and that became more and more often. Also on the initiative of my son who then asked him: don’t you want to come and eat sometime? Don’t you want to go to this or that? I grew that like that, nothing head over heels. Now Kamari knows no better than that he belongs, can cook well and is also very sweet.”

Do you already have a birth plan ready?
“I have my preferences, but I try to be a little flexible. As far as I’m able to, haha. I know what I like, but I don’t want to commit myself to that. Last time I found it hard to let go. I was then overcome by the contractions, had underestimated that. Now that I know how it feels, I know that it will be very tough again, but also that I can do it. And I just can’t forget that last one. I especially like that Leon is very relaxed and confident in me. I also don’t read everything that is loose and stuck anymore. Although this time I do have a kind of obsession with childbirth videos, I just keep watching them. They also make me emotional every time.”

“I have a kind of obsession with childbirth videos; they make me emotional every time”

Do you already have a name?
“We have a number of options, but I’m not really thinking about them much yet. Leon is the one who keeps coming up with brilliant options. He has a very original mindset, so I like to hear what his ideas are. I can then say whether I think a name is correct or not. With Kamari I didn’t even have a name until three days after he was born. I wanted to see the baby first, to see if it would be right. When his father, three days later, came with Kamari, I thought: yes, that’s right. What I do know is that it won’t just be a nickname. Intermediate names can tell a little more about the moment of birth this is how Kamari was born at Christmas and was also given the name Noël. Leon has Moluccan roots, so I also like to do something with that.”

Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would do differently?
“A little more structure would be nice. Also because we already have a child who goes to school. When Kamari was a baby, I had no structure at all in terms of sleeps or rituals, certain sequences that were the same every day. It just sort of worked out the way it did. Kamari went everywhere and slept in the baby carrier everywhere, but it was very difficult to get him to sleep ‘alone’. That ended up being very tiring for me as well. Not that I would want to do a strict sleep training now, but a little more structure would be nice. That’s the plan, but we’ll see if it works. I find babies very easy, it only becomes difficult when they start talking back, haha. Then the education really begins.”