‘It’s always hop, hop, hop, hurry up’

In On the stage every other week let’s talk about motherhood with an influencer. This time we speak to Graziëlla ten Veen, triplets mother of daughters Lize, Mika and Jackie (3).

Introduce

• Graziella Ten Veen (30)
• Relationship: lives with Alex
• Children: Lize, Mika and Jackie (3)
• Instagram: @graziellenveen
• Number of followers: 16,100

You are a momfluencer: how did that come about?

“I was just pregnant when I lost my job. ‘What should I do now?’ I immediately thought. The hospital made me rest, so I had a lot of time left. I used to fantasize about writing cooking blogs. A friend therefore came up with the idea to write blogs about my pregnancy with triplets. I wasn’t immediately enthusiastic, because that shit is not for me. In the end, with all those weeks at home ahead of me, I started to share more. That was quite uncomfortable in the beginning: who wants to see this now? But more and more followers were added. During the pregnancy I was a bit hesitant because if things went wrong I had to share that too. Even now I am very selective in what I share. When the girls are sick I hardly show it and I am more offline. An added benefit of my Instagram channel was that I got a lot of free baby stuff. That saved a lot of money, because we had to buy everything three times.”

What went through your mind when you heard you were having triplets?

“I went completely crazy, haha. Three kids, how are we ever going to do that? Because of my PCOS, we had a long hospital journey, so of course we were happy that it worked out. At the same time, I never dreamed of a large family, I preferred to keep it with one child. But once I was pregnant, I also saw it before me: a large table with many children. The news had to land for a while, but after a few days the switch switched. We will go for it and everything will be fine.”

Also read: Erin Ameling: ‘My son cried twenty hours a day as a baby’

How did you experience the first time with your daughters?

“According to my boyfriend, the first months were horror, so maybe I’m romanticizing it now, but I found it relaxed. Every three hours the girls got a bottle and a clean diaper and then they went back to sleep. Yes, I really enjoyed that baby-baby time. What I had to get used to is that it’s not so easy to leave the house with three babies, something I liked to do before that time. A year and a half after their birth, I went back to work. 24/7 care is just not for me, sometimes I really had to get out. It’s great to be able to do something for myself again.”

Graziella with her boyfriend and daughters

Life with triplets: what does it look like?

“For us, it’s all about routine. Taking a lot of time to cuddle one-on-one or read a book together is not an option with triplets. If one wants to cuddle, the other wants too. It’s always hop, hop, hop, hurry up. But I don’t know any better. Practicing potty training is also slightly different. Where it is a relief for some parents, I mainly think: ouch, my back. I have to put three kids on the toilet every hour. With triplets in the house, it’s always chaos. Separately, they are the easiest children, but together they constantly try to shout out to each other. They all want to show we are them, just like having a drink with friends, haha.”

What characterizes you as a mother?

“I am very level-headed and I never worry. If breastfeeding doesn’t work, one of the children throws a plate of food across the room or the laundry is left for a few days, I feel a bit disappointed, but I quickly put it aside. As long as they still have clothes in the closet, I don’t worry too much. Actually, as a mother, I am very easy going. Anything goes, as long as it’s fun. For example, I like to take a walk together, play outside or order a snack on the terrace. They eat everything, of course, but I think that’s great. The only thing I do worry about is my daughters sleep routine. If that doesn’t work, I’m annoyed. Without an afternoon nap, the girls cannot be enjoyed and that affects the rest of the day. Plus, that’s the only time I have time for myself. A holy hour, then.”

Do you ever suffer from mom shaming†

“Barely. Someone recently asked on Instagram: ‘How often do you eat fries? I see it very often in your Stories’. Girl, what are you worrying about, I think. She’s probably trying to lure me out of it, but she can’t. In real life I find it more difficult to deal with unsolicited advice. Then I doubt for a moment: am I doing it right? Sometimes someone has a point, but often I leave it. You are you and I am me.”

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