Ellen about the Spring Fever fuss: ‘Let’s see what each child needs’
Ellen is a counselor in secondary special education, a thriller author at publisher De Fontein, mother of Lewis and Miles (11 and 8) from a previous relationship and gave birth to daughter Sophia with her boyfriend Nils in November.
The Week of the Spring tickles is on it and everyone – including politicians – is working on it. Rutgers employees have been threatened and there is great unrest among parents. “Why does my toddler daughter need to know how to give a blowjob?”
Slippery ice
I don’t want to tread on thin ice by having an opinion about it, because I don’t really have one. You can only – I think – form a well-founded opinion about something when you know the facts and I don’t want to spread misinformation. So I stick to what I know and experience myself. Because with two boys in the house of eleven and eight you are really busy with crushes and (sexual) education. Isn’t that just beautiful? We don’t do prudery and Lewis and Miles can ask their father, Nils and me anything. We don’t want to get too complicated about it.
Of course, when I was just pregnant with Sophia and the question came up, “How are babies made?” I was floundering for a while. Suddenly they had a very concrete reason to ask how things were going. But as we talked about it more often and we actually noticed that those conversations didn’t have to be so stiff at all, it became easier. I am convinced that you are doing your children a great favor by being open and calling things as they are. We have nothing to be ashamed of and I don’t want them to think you should be ashamed of anything.
“I am convinced that you are doing children a great favor by being open”
Strange booklet
A while ago Lewis (group 7, doubled for a year) came home with the booklet Spring fever. He held it between thumb and forefinger and dropped it on the table as if it were a handkerchief full of snot.
“This is a very strange book,” he said.
In other words, this is a very interesting book
“Shows.”
I picked up the booklet and leafed through it. Before I knew it, half an hour had passed and I was absorbed in all the tidbits and facts about adolescents and budding sexuality.
“What do you think, Lew?”
“Nothing. What do you think?” he asked.
“I think it’s a fun topic and very important,” I replied. “I have taught many lessons about it.”
“Did your students like it?”
“Usually yes,” I said.
My students (then first-year MBO students, average sixteen years old) thought the pictures I added of various STDs were less successful. But after that, most agreements were made with the GGD.
“Well, I don’t feel like it,” said Lewis. Well so.
He left upstairs and I continued browsing. The material was clearly explained and it is also necessary, because adolescents are busy with their bodies and they need information. With Miles, who is now in 5th grade and pretty much pukes when we talk about anything like kissing, we do talk about being in love and cute girls. That seems to be enough for him so far. I think that’s important. Looking at where your child is, what he or she needs.
Life lessons
In that respect, as parents, we can (hopefully) estimate very well to what extent and when we include our child in (age-appropriate) sex education? When your child needs it, you notice it automatically and if not, you just talk about it sometime. Crampy fuss is not necessary at all, is it? They are life lessons.
All in all, it has become a very annoying fuss and it is also a shame, because it is the intention that children learn to deal with their bodies in a healthy way.
What do you think? Is all the fuss about the Spring fever justified?
More Ellen? Follow her on Instagram. You can read her previous columns here.
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