‘A complete stranger took my son’s thumb out of his mouth’

“Once you become a mother, you get criticized from all sides,” Susie says. It’s mom shaming all over the place. You will be told that you have chosen a bad name for your child, that your crib is not good and why on earth you are bottle feeding. That you should swaddle your baby – or why not – and that pacifiers are a no-go. Let alone that your child sucks his thumb: that is completely out of the question.’

The drop

Susie speaks from experience. One day she was in the supermarket and a woman approached her. “She took my son’s thumb out of his mouth,” she says. ‘As I watched in astonishment, she said to him in a childish voice, ‘Little boys don’t thumbs up.’ I was so shocked that I couldn’t say anything back and just froze.’

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Upon returning home, Susie realized that this was the proverbial straw that broke her camel’s back. “I decided from then on to avoid this hassle as much as possible. Of course I couldn’t do that in public, but I was going to close myself off from the know-it-alls in my circle of friends and acquaintances. How? Very simple: by not sharing my parenting choices with them.’

Depression

For example, she has never told anyone that she co-sleeped for a long time. ‘There is also a strong difference of opinion about this,’ she says. “One swears by it, the other says it’s unsafe. Regardless of the truth, a 2018 study found that mothers who co-sleeped for a long time had more depression than mothers who slept separately from their child. Not so much because of co-dragging, but because they felt judged by other parents.’

According to Susie, that shows exactly why momshaming needs to end. “They say it takes a village to raise a child. But do you know what it really takes? A village that understands that what is good for one family does not always mean what is good for another. And if that doesn’t work, everyone should just shut up.’

Source: Scary Mommy

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