20x Hilarious Lies You Tell Your Child
- Serina: “We tell them that the road workers are men who check whether children are nice and calm in the car. They don’t dare to say a word when they see an orange vest. And woe betide if we speak too loudly.”
- Stephanie: “Our children believe that as mom and dad we always see everything they do… They just always want to know where the cameras are hidden in their rooms.”
- Evelien: “My daughter has a nut allergy. If it’s not healthy, I say it contains nuts.”
- Natasja: “You have to do your best at school otherwise you end up in the sprinkles factory and you have to cut sprinkles all day long: this is what my children have long believed. And to get them to eat well, I said on holiday in Terschelling that they would blow off the island if they didn’t eat well. It helped.”
- Jessica: “The water has run out. Otherwise he will never get out of the shower.”
- Eva: “That mango tastes like poop so I could eat it alone.”
- Amanda: “Fireman Sam is on vacation…”
- Lindie: “’The McDonalds chip pan is broken’. Week later: ‘Mama, is the frying pan made yet?’”
- Joyce: “My toddler is often naughty and stands in the tub: I’m terrified that he slips and falls with his mouth on the edge of the tub (that’s my own childhood trauma, oops). At the same time, he was curious as to why Mommy doesn’t have a dick. So I told him my dick broke off because I got up in the bath, slipped and lost it because of that, so he should just stay safe in the bath on his bum.”
- Esmeralda: “I made up that when you joke, a line appears on your forehead. Then my daughter put her hand on her forehead when she joked to me.”
- Paulien: “Ah, they don’t have these red Cars shoes with hysterical lighting in the sole in your size, sweetheart. Yes, mom is very sorry about that too.”
- Marina: “The ice cream man comes here at 9 p.m. and I have told my children that he plays that tune because he collects the children who are still awake for the dishes.”
- Mômô: “Mama, what is that yellow M along the highway? That’s Mama’s M, that means we’re on the right track…”
- Corina: “My children believe I have eyes in the back of my head and they call them ‘back eyes’.”
- Chantal: “Those aren’t vegetables, they’re vitamins!”
- Nilgün: “A 3-year-old son doesn’t want any butter on his sandwich. No honey, that’s not butter, that’s margarine. Oh okay…”
- Yvonne: “My daughter ate two plates of leek ‘a la crème’ after I convinced her that the spinach was from a different brand. This spinach is delicious mama!’ When I said we’re having leeks tomorrow, she made a grimace and said; no no leek mama, I don’t like that.”
- Debby: “When my daughter sees a hysterical item of clothing in the store: ‘Ah, what a pity sweetie. They don’t have them in your size anymore!’”
- Quirine: “My mother was so afraid that we would drown in the ditch that she made us afraid of the water monster. I was not impressed at all, but my younger brother still has traumas from his swimming lessons where my mother was asked by the swimming teacher to get her own hysterically frightened son into the water.”
- Chantal: “Cauliflower and broccoli are ‘so dirty’, but white and green trees go in here like cabbage…”
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