‘You shouldn’t always ask children to hug people’

Two experts explain.

Decide for yourself

Grandpa and grandma go home, your sister comes to visit, it’s a school friend’s birthday: there are plenty of situations where you might ask your child to hug someone. But if it’s up to child psychiatrist Lea Lis, we’ll stop. And that has everything to do with the autonomy of a child. According to Lis, children have to decide for themselves who they want to touch and when. “It makes kids feel like they’re in charge. As a result, as a teenager they dare to say ‘no’ more quickly to an unwanted touch.’

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Personal choice

Psychologist Siggie Cohen agrees. According to her, “forcing” a child to hug someone can create a feeling of resentment or even social anxiety. “Feeling comfortable enough to hug someone is a personal choice. That depends on your child’s personality, how sociable he is and his preferences,’ says Cohen. It can be a bit painful and uncomfortable if your child does not want to give grandma and grandpa a hug, but according to the experts, you should not dwell on it too long. It is more important to let your child choose. Or go for an alternative greeting, such as a boxing or high five. And can Uncle Kees still not hold back? Do not hesitate to say something about it, according to the experts.

Source: PureWow

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