‘When I’m aroused, my partner gets a notification in the sex app’

June 13, 2022 Luisa Rey

Image: Getty Images

Few couples can say their sex lives have improved since they had kids, but with Tara and Henry, the frequency has increased sixfold. And all thanks to an app.

Tara (32), mother of Linde (8) and Luna (5) and together with Henry (34) for fifteen years.

“My phone is vibrating, signaling that I’m getting another order from Henry. “Kiss me without warning.” Or, “Wake me up naked.” I immediately send it back via our sex app: ‘Hit, squeeze and caress my buttocks.’ If we really have the time, it’s: ‘Show me a porn movie you’d like to see us play in.’ Such assignments immediately put us in the mood and look for a moment to make love as soon as possible.

“Since we moved into calmer waters and discovered a great sex app, we’ve been completely off the hook”

In fact, it is so stimulating that we have sex almost every day. That’s only recently. Strangely enough, we hardly had sex in our childless years. We were too busy with work, eating out and going to the movies. After that it was the pregnancies, breastfeeding or the family. It’s only since we’ve moved into calmer waters and discovered a great sex app that we’ve completely loosened up.

Contents

1 No sense
2 sex app
3 turning point
4 Try new things
5 Making out

No sense

Before we had kids, we used to do it once a week and only on Friday or Saturday nights. It was very simple: just foreplay, Henry on top and that was it. The whole thing took a maximum of ten minutes. I would call it boring now, monotonous with sometimes something extra.

During my pregnancies around the tenth week my breasts, nipples and cervix became extremely sensitive. Sex was no longer a pleasure, so we took a temporary break. After giving birth, I wanted to breastfeed at all costs. I didn’t like the idea of Henry having his mouth on my nipples when ten minutes later I had to feed my baby with those same nipples. I also saw feeding as a moment to bond with Linde.

In addition, I was in a bad place due to sleep and energy shortages. Sex was not a priority. The few times that I did agree, it could just happen that I suddenly no longer wanted in the middle of a lovemaking.

Henry found it difficult in the beginning that we had so little love, but he understood that I had to recover from pregnancy, childbirth and the period after, in which we ended up having two little ones. Fortunately, we are very good at talking about sex. I was raised alone by my mother and she taught me never to be ashamed of sexuality. For my husband, the subject was something you kept private. He really had to learn that.

sex app

I breastfed for a total of four years. So at that time my breasts belonged to the children. Only then was Henry allowed to play with it again, but we still held back. Luna slept for a long time in our room and then you don’t want to make too much noise.

It wasn’t until she moved into her own bedroom that we carefully picked up the thread and tried out all kinds of new positions. I think we were at a decent average of once or twice a week back then. But last year it suddenly broke me. Sex had become so standard. Couldn’t it be more spicy? I wanted to try something new, but didn’t know how or what.

“Sex had become so standard. Couldn’t it be spicier?”

Henry, as a real IT professional, grabbed google and searched for apps. The Spicer app seemed fun to him, so we decided to install it. An English language app that challenges you in terms of sex; it lets you ask questions alternately and you can also send spicy photos with it, for example, without them being sent to the cloud.

Also read – ‘During a lovemaking in the dunes, we suddenly heard footsteps’ >

turning point

that was a turning point in our relationship. Henry normally has trouble expressing emotions or thoughts, but with a cell phone in between he suddenly succeeded. The nice thing is that the app sends you two questions every day that you only have to answer with yes or no. If your partner answers the same question positively, you have a match and that means you have to put it into practice. After all, you now know that you are both open to it. That’s how I discovered that I like rougher sex and that Henry is dominant and likes to call the shots during sex.

“Gradually you get a glimpse into your partner’s sexual brain”

Gradually you get a glimpse into your partner’s sexual brain, precisely through questions such as: do you like role-playing? Do you think sucking and eating pussy is something for just before or during sex? Nipple clamps yes or no? Do you share your fantasies? It’s also nice that you can send ‘dares’. There are a number of standard challenges in the app, but you can also create your own. With that you can earn points and since Henry and I are quite competitive, we do everything we can to score points.

Try new things

All this together now means that we have sex five or six times a week and often try something new or repeat something fun. I have a higher libido than Henry, always has, but it never really showed. I think because I subconsciously held back. Where I used to think that something would be weird, my mobile already removes such obstacles. My partner only gets to see what he himself considers interesting. Moreover, you can also tick if you are in the mood, then the other person will receive a notification.

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Making out

A lovemaking now usually lasts an hour. It actually starts with a naughty app, often because you already know through the app that the other person is in the mood. That makes it more relaxed. Or in bed when we are spooning and I feel his penis, to which I respond by hitting it with my buttocks. Or he strokes my breasts and we kiss hard.

We try out positions and toys suggested by the app. For example, we have a butt plug and the satisfy bought one for me and one for Henry masturbator sleeve, with a neutral opening. The idea of a fake vagina or buttocks was a bridge too far for me. That seemed too much like cheating, I thought.

“All in all, we have become much more playful. I dare say that we are also more fun as parents”

We keep a lot of eye contact and also talk quietly during sex about what we like or don’t like. All in all, we have become much more playful; not necessarily sexually, but overall we have become more teasing. I dare say that we as parents are also more fun. We are looser and have more fun together – all thanks to the phone.”

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This article can be found in Kek Mama 05-2022.


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