‘What are my dreams? It suddenly felt greedy to wish for more’
Mariëtte Middelbeek is a journalist and author, and a columnist for Kek Mama. She and her husband Erik have two children: son Casper and daughter Nora.
It was Thursday morning, I was lying on a bed in a yurt with a blanket around me and incense in my nose. The sound of singing bowls filled the tent. I turned 39 without ever attending a singing bowl session and although that went fine, two friends decided it was high time for some next level relaxation, so there was, in addition to very nice saunas and bubble baths, that session in that yurt .
Now I find relaxing difficult and singing bowls complicated, so I was mainly thinking that I really had to relax now because yes, that’s what I was here for, and by the way, that blanket itches and that incense is intense and why is someone coughing there and eh… what did that woman say?
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To dream
What that woman said, in addition to directions to get everyone to relax as much as possible, was also that we should think about dreams. Think about a dream – how are you going to achieve it, what will it take? Um… yes. Gone relaxation. Difficult question.
Of course I have dreams, à la health for my loved ones and world peace. But what do I really want? What do I still want to have or achieve? I want to keep what I already have. Singing bowls or not, it suddenly felt greedy, full of pride, to wish for more.
Every night I put two healthy children in warm beds – isn’t that enough? I love writing very much and I am lucky that people actually want to read my books, so that I can make a living from what I love to do. My parents are still alive, my parents-in-law too, we rarely go to hospital, divorces are raining around us, but Erik and I still huddle together every night, we have dear friends, a veranda with a wood-burning stove, an oversized Jack Russell, loads of great holiday memories – what the heck could be more?
“What was your dream?” my friends asked afterwards.
I smiled. “World Peace.”
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