“We’ve been through some tough things, that makes our bond very strong”
Image: Nine IJff
Sanne Akkerman (31) is known for her sketch videos on her Instagram channel @laviesanne and columnist in Kek Mama. Her mother Annet Gerten (64) is an executive secretary at the municipality of Heerenveen.
Sanne Akkerman is mother of James (8), Isé (5) and Amélie (0). Her mother Annet Gerten (64) is the mother of Sanne (31), Niels (33) and Lucinde (24).
Sanne: “My mother is my role model. She is the first person I call when I need advice or want to have a chat. I don’t have friends with children of the same age, so mom is my source of information. She accepts everything from me, even if I’m not in my right she will always be there for me. I think that is a very nice feeling.”
Annet: “Openness is important. I raised three children on my own. I always told them, “You can say anything to me.” If we disagree, we speak up. Sometimes there is friction, but without friction there is no shine.”
To assure
Sanne: “My son James had fallen off the couch. He became unconscious for a moment and had to be taken to the hospital. I called my mother and she responded with: ‘How can that be? You never fell off the couch with me. You better watch out.’ Of course, her response was out of concern, but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear at the time. I had hoped she would say, “Girl, it can happen, good luck in the hospital and you’ll be fine.” But I do understand her concern.”
Annet: “My son Niels, Sanne’s brother, has an intellectual disability. He stumbles and often falls. He had a hole in his head again and we were back in the hospital. I was and always am concerned, it’s in my DNA. I also have that concern with my grandchildren. Sanne and I are not only mother and daughter, we also share the care of her brother. If anything ever happens to me, Sanne will take over the care of Niels from me. That makes motherhood extra special.”
Birth
Sanne: “We have been through many intense things, my sister Lucinde has been very ill. There were times when we really didn’t know anymore. But we always go through it together and it is precisely those deep valleys that make our bond strong. The most special thing for me is that mom was with all my births. I wanted her there as an expert by experience. My mother is so feisty that she also dared to speak sternly to me with what to do. I took that more from her than from the midwife.”
Annet: “The birth of James, the first, was very special. I entered the hospital and already heard her scream. I knew how to find her by sound.”
Annet: “If I see a drop of blood I already faint, but I was so busy with Sanne and my grandchild that I could get over my own fear”
Sanne: “It went so fast and it was so intense. Mama immediately said, “And now you’re going to listen to me and stop screaming.” She gave me focus again.”
Annet: “It was very special that I could be there. If I see a drop of blood I already faint, but I was so busy with Sanne and my grandchild that I could get over my own fear.”
Read also – ‘My mother has been to all three of my births’ >
Endless laughter
Sanne: “We can also laugh endlessly together. When the two of us do something together, my husband Robert says: ‘Hepie and Hepie are going on the road again.’ Because it’s guaranteed to go wrong. So we had booked a holiday home. We’re all together at the reception in Groningen, the man says: ‘I don’t see you listed. But a reservation at our other park in Limburg.’ Then the tears roll down our cheeks!”
Annet: “In Sicily, we were stuck in a narrow alley with a rental car. We couldn’t go forward or backward, even the doors wouldn’t open. Someone else might get angry, but we can only laugh.”
go-getters
Sanne: “What I admire about mom is her perseverance. If I had been in her shoes – alone with three small children – I wouldn’t have known how I would have managed. She will never give up. After all the troubled periods in her life, I especially want her to rest. Go enjoy your house, that you feel good and that you don’t always have to fight.”
Sanne: “If I had been in her shoes – alone with three small children – I would not have known how I could have managed it”
Annet: “I wish Sanne all the health and happiness. That is above all. Of course it is nice that business is going well, but success is less important to me. I really feel like I’m leaving behind two strong daughters.”
87% of mothers in the Netherlands have to deal with mom shaming, according to research by Kek Mama. The editors found this so shocking that they started a campaign: Kek Mama launches mombracing, the counterpart of momshaming, and calls on all mothers to support each other instead of criticizing from now on.
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