‘We celebrate our love and only need each other’
Bien has moved to Italy with her love Arjen and their children. She talks about their new life there.
Hi Tutti!
Already my eighth column, I’ve been allowed to write for Kek Mama for two months about our life in Italy and I find that very pleasant to do. I also want to thank those who took the trouble to respond kindly to the columns, I even received emails from people living in Italy.
Lots of patience
Life is so different here and we like it very much. You have to have a lot of patience here: what is arranged within an hour in the Netherlands or to which you receive a response within a day, easily takes two weeks or longer here. We have been in contact with a real estate agent for some time now. Now he actually responds quickly and well for what he does, but he also sometimes only responds to a WhatsApp message after ten days. I can actually laugh a lot about that, because I’m just like that and it doesn’t stand out at all here.
We now have our Fiscal Code, so we went to the municipality with our good behavior. Once we are there, it turns out that we need more documents to complete the registration, so next Monday we will go back and then we can finally apply to the municipality to get married. You have a waiting list here, so maybe we won’t get married until next month, but that doesn’t matter because then we still have some time to arrange some small things.
No contact
It is very sad that I no longer have contact with my parents and they will not experience this special day, especially after the death of my sister that is incomprehensible. I had to cut off contact with my parents, to protect myself and especially the children from disappointments and a lot of grief. That I have had a big blow of the mill at the hands of my parents is up to this point, but when I saw that the same disappointments befell my children and Fleuri was the only one favored and Brunello was completely ignored by my father and his wife, drew a line. Until here and no further. That is really incomprehensible to the people here, grandparents here may have even more influence on children than the parents themselves. We keep the wedding small, with a number of people we got to know here, with maybe four friends from the Netherlands and an interpreter. Pretty crazy, but still funny.
Wedding Dress
Last week I walked past a store where an incredibly beautiful mother-of-pearl pink dress hung in the window, as I told in my previous column. The next day I happily walked into the store to try on the dress, but I was a little too excited, because I couldn’t get into it with my bosom. The dress was so wedding-worthy, but it was no longer available anywhere and I didn’t think it was an option. Disappointed with the dress still in my mind, I left it for what it was.
I often walk in the evening with a number of empty bottles to the source to get water, this time I walked Arjen’s route. You have several sources here and that bit of walking is always very pleasant in the evening, with full terraces and window shopping. Again my eye fell on a beautiful floral dress with hand-embroidered flowers on it. When we walked into that store the next day it happened to be my size, the dress was just right. For a moment I got emotional, such a moment of realization that something special is about to happen, but also emotional because I couldn’t share this moment with my parents and sister. I never had such a desire to have children or get married. Yet nothing makes me happier than my children and the thought of being Arjen’s wife. Fleuri stood next to me and said very sweetly: ‘You look very beautiful mom’. Oh, who am I marrying anyway? For myself, for the children and for the connection between me and Arjen. We celebrate our love and only need each other.
Also read: Bien’s sister Fleur died on her 28th: ’Pain that I always carry with me, but from which I also get strength’
Participating in Italy
There are many nice boutiques here with also very nice pumps in Sex and the City style. The dress and mules are already waiting for the special day, hanging in the living room.
It really feels so special how we settle in beautiful Puglia, next month the children are already going to school here. Very nice, because they can make new friends there and learn the language well, but also nice for me and Arjen. We are sometimes quite tired of entertaining three small children all day between working, organizing, cleaning and cooking. Then it all feels a bit more realistic, when you fully participate in Italian life.
And yes our honeymoon? That will probably be three days of Capri. Maybe we’ll rent a yacht and sail for three days along beautiful beaches and visit special towns. I can’t wait to say the yes, with our three lovely children and Fleuri and Brunello giving us the rings.
To be continued…
bacio,
bien
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