‘We are not worried about the costs’
Image: Getty Images
Merel thought after five miscarriages that the large family she always dreamed of would no longer exist, but she now has six sons.
Merel (44) is married to Gijs (41) and mother of Victor (13), Wouter (11), Bas (10), Moos (9), Willem (4) and Jasper (2).
“This will never be okay again, I thought after the fifth miscarriage. Gijs and I were both completely put through the wringer in the hospital, but nothing was found. We signed up for a foster child and had almost resigned ourselves to the fact that the big family we both dreamed of would never materialize.
But then Victor came and we had four more sons in the years that followed. After Willem it went wrong again twice. Doctors now think my body may be rejecting a girl’s pregnancy. Our sixth child is also a boy. I never thought anything like: now give me a girl. It really didn’t matter to me. When I was pregnant with Jasper I also knew for sure that it would be a boy again.
Six guys
Whether it is busy, a family with six boys? I think it’s not too bad. Willem and I both stick to a daily rhythm, our lives are very structured. As a result, everyone knows where they stand, and that works. We even go camping with the eight of us; we all in the bus and the luggage and tent fit in the caravan.
“People in our area were more concerned about costs than we were”
Of course, six children have a higher price tag than two children. People in our area were more concerned about that than we were. ‘All those children must have clothes, study later – how are you going to do that?’ we have been asked with concern. We have left that alone. We assumed that everything would be fine.
Home
When I was pregnant with Willem, now five years ago, we had our current house built. We already had a spacious house, but we wanted to live detached and have a large garden.
Building a house is exciting, especially from a financial point of view. Gijs and I agreed on an amount with the contractor and said very clearly in advance that this is it, that there should be no additional costs. We had a very nice contractor and we stayed within the budget of 350,000 euros.
Cost
We now live on a piece of land of 7000 square meters and each child has its own bedroom. Jasper’s room was added last, so we split our own bedroom in two – it was very spacious. We pay about 2000 euros monthly in mortgage costs.
Our house has an indoor swimming pool, which Gijs and I really wanted if it would fit within the budget. That worked, but the costs for heating the pool increased enormously. Initially, we spent 600 euros a month on energy costs. That became 1000 euros and after a while even the 1500 euros came into view.
“We can no longer afford this,” we said to each other. We had already thought that the swimming pool should stay out in the winter and could only be used in the summer, but almost every evening the children dive in after dinner. They sleep well on it. In the end, we decided to install extra solar panels. In total we now have sixty on and around the house and nowadays that even earns us money. The pool is therefore still in full use.
Read also – Boy’s mother speaks out: ‘People felt sorry for me because I had a third son’ >
Screen time
The oldest four children are playing football, the costs are not too bad. They all have their own iPad, which we bought new. If a screen breaks, we don’t fix it until it really stops the iPad from functioning, but I must say they all take very good care of it. They are also not allowed every day. At 4.30 pm the television is switched on and then they all watch a football series. That is also useful for a family with only boys.
Groceries
For a while I did the basic shopping at one supermarket and then I went to another supermarket for cheaper fruit and vegetables. I don’t do that anymore, it took too much time.
At the weekend I think about what we’re eating for the rest of the week and then I order it online. I spend an average of 160 euros on groceries per week. I get bread from the bakery for 30 euros, and meat from the butcher for 50 euros. For toiletries and cleaning supplies I go to Germany, which is close to us. A large pack of diapers costs 15 euros there. That really makes a big difference.
Life will get a bit more expensive here when they all hit puberty and eat even more. Now they mainly eat a lot of fruit, I don’t cut back on that. Victor regularly comes to grab something from the fruit bowl before going to bed.
Pass on clothes
I hardly ever pass on clothes from child to child. What I loved when Victor was little, I don’t like at all now. I love fashion and I am sensitive to trends, also for the children. I try to score as many sales as possible. In town there is a shop with beautiful designer clothes where everything is reduced to 70 percent at the end of the season. Then I strike. I can certainly succeed at cheaper stores, but then you notice that it is of lesser quality.
“When everything is marked down to 70 percent at the end of the season; then I strike”
Last Sinterklaas, the oldest four all received Nike Air Jordans. Then I pay for about 400 euros in shoes in one go. Another major expense is the hairdresser. Once every nine weeks that costs 110 euros, fortunately I like longer hair.
Outings
We never actually run out of money. For the holiday to Italy – we always go to a campsite for four weeks – we set aside 100 euros a month, the rest we pay from Gijs’ income – he earns about 5500 euros a month. In addition to that income, we receive about 1400 euros per quarter in child benefit.
We have a subscription to the zoo, where we go regularly. We also go for outings to the forest or the playground, we are not amusement park people. The children have enough space to play around our house, they play football a lot in the garden. And then of course that swimming pool, which also offers a lot of entertainment.
Allowance
The children all receive one euro pocket money a week. They save it and take it with them on vacation. As soon as they can, they’ll get a job. Gijs and I are both very much in favor of that. We have set up a savings account for each child in which we put 20 euros per month. It is intended for when they want to study, but if not they can spend it on something else.
Wealth for me is not in possessions or a fat savings account, for me it is in my six boys. I never think about what I could have done with our money if I only had one or two. My children are my happiness. I’m like Mother Goose.”
Receive Kek Mama with a discount and free shipping on your doormat every month! Subscribe now and pay only €4.19 per edition.
