This mom is a porn star: ‘But at home I just change poop diapers’

Stephanie (34), lives with Joshua (28) and is the mother of L. (15), D. (11), S. (7), J. (5), F. (4) and baby J. ( 3 months). She is also known under the name Bibi Diamond as an international (tattoo) model and porn actress.

Stephanie: “My introduction sounds like an old Jambers promo: at home I am mum and Stephanie. A mother of six, Joshua’s partner, daughter and friend. Outside I am Bibi Diamond, an international model and successful porn actress. Yet there is no lie. This is my life right now. I combine motherhood with a controversial profession. But even though many people think something about it, you can very well be both a mother and a porn actress.

Yet it has never been my ambition. On the contrary, I would almost say. I am half Indonesian, half Hindu and in our culture there is quite a big taboo on the sex industry. I grew up in a close, warm and traditional family. But my father died when I was fifteen. A great loss. Not long after that I met the man with whom I had four children. The relationship was very violent. The windows regularly flew out of the windows. I was badly beaten and forced into sex by him. Once, while I was standing with my daughter S. (7) on my arm, he put a carving knife on my throat and threatened to kill me. It wasn’t until he started hitting the children that I came to my senses.

Flee

I fled the house with the children and when I saw them hiding in a porch shot through my head: if this continues, we will be the next family drama. Then I secretly informed the teacher of my oldest children. Subsequently, a process with Youth Care started and I even had to go into hiding temporarily. For the sake of my safety and that of the children, I had to go to a shelter without them. I hated it and it felt like a punishment to be separated from my children. J. (5) was only nine months old. Yet I realized that at that moment it was better for everyone to have peace.

When my ex kept quiet, luckily that peace returned. I went from the institution to my mother, but could not stay there and certainly not live with four children. I felt like a terrible failure. Nearly thirty, no house, no job or money and therefore no children with me. I had to provide an income as soon as possible. There was a sex club near my mother’s house and I was asked to come and work there. I could earn 250 euros per hour and was allowed to live there for free. I was desperate and saw this as a way out to a better future. But I hated the work. As escort girls we had to make ourselves beautiful and offer ourselves to the clients. But I turned down a lot of customers. I thought they were dirty and was actually done with dominant men.

Because I had heard that you could make a lot of money in the porn industry, I made an appointment with producer Kim Holland. It already felt like my world had come to an end, I couldn’t sink much deeper. I was able to get started right away and came up with an alter ego: Bibi Diamond. In itself I was terrified that I could now be seen naked for everyone and everyone and I was ashamed of my surroundings. Especially for my Hindu family. But the reactions were not too bad. After all the misery, my mother was glad I hadn’t committed suicide.

Porn actress

Compared to everything I had already experienced, playing in a porn movie was the best. And those farther from me, like schoolyard moms, had to at least confess themselves first that they watched porn. Sometimes I saw a father staring at me, but he said nothing, for fear that I might embarrass him.

I received 1500 euros for those recordings. Not much later I was asked for a second and third film. Having sex with a stranger in front of cameras may seem like having sex for a fee in a club to an outsider. Yet it is different. I was allowed to select my own partners and often chose the same man. You don’t have to do much. A bit of nice posing, some screaming and moaning, moving up and down and looking into the camera horny. So much is cut and glued together. Much is also fake. For the ‘happy ending’ they use, for example, special effects such as shampoo or conditioner.

Popular

To my surprise, Bibi Diamond became very popular in the porn scene. I was presented as a so-called milf: mother I’d like to fuck. The requests for more porn movies started pouring in. Not even very extreme, just one on one sex parties or me with a toy. Producers saw in me a world star and promoted me abroad. I am now big in Hungary, America and Germany. I opened a special Insta account and created my own website where I posted vlogs and sold certain Bibi items, such as used lingerie.

Two worlds

In the meantime I got better financially and was able to rent my own house again. I kept in close contact with Youth Care. At first I was terrified to confess to them how I earned my living. But the court was relaxed. Even when I worked at the club, they were only happy that I had picked up my life again. I got the children a few hours a day to get used to and after a year they all lived with me full time again. As long as I did not confront the children with my work, my profession did not matter, the judge simply ruled.

Separating the two worlds is not difficult at all. At home I change poo diapers, make sandwiches, fill school bags, brush teeth and dress children. I am now very busy with my baby, who is just a month old. Here I am just a mommy and does not imply a career in the porn world. I don’t have an SM room or rotating cameras in the bedroom. I do own some toys, but they are hidden in my bedside table and my movies are locked behind a code on the laptop. If I have a recording, Grandma will come and watch.

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Building an existence

The children are not very bothered by it. In the beginning I deliberately kept it all hidden, but I have noticed that the more open I am, the less strong the curiosity is. My eldest son L. (15) was confronted once with my work. A thirteen-year-old friend had sent a video of me via WhatsApp. I then told him and his friends that they should not open the video and explain in childish language what I do exactly, but also why I have made certain choices in my life.

99 percent of the people in the sex industry work there for a reason. Backgrounds of abuse and violence are common, you don’t just step into this world. For example, if my father was still alive, I should never have done this work of his. But he also never accepted that a man would abuse me, so there would have been no cause. This was my chance to build a life, to see my children again and to give them a future. L. (15) understands that. He recently said, “Mom, I’m so glad you left Daddy. I really don’t care if you make films, as long as we can stick together. ‘

Sometimes negative comments appear on Instagram. Then I am ‘a dirty whore who is not allowed to have children’. I block real haters. Fortunately, the majority of the responses are respectful. When people ask nicely about my motivation and I explain it, I get only understanding. In the end, I don’t hurt anyone and the films I make aren’t perverse or extreme. Not more exciting than what happens in an average bedroom.

Nice relationship

I have known my current partner Joshua for five years now. He had no idea who Bibi Diamond was when he messaged me on Facebook. It was about me, about Stephanie. We sent each other texts back and forth and felt an enormous click and attraction. He soon knew that I was a mother of four children, which did not deter him. I hardly dared to tell him that I was also a porn actress. Which man wants that, I thought. But Joshua had also been given his backpack in life. He didn’t judge, but accepted my past and controversial appeal.

From the moment we first met, we were in love and best friends. We haven’t been apart a day and I’m happier than ever. After the rollercoaster I lived in for years and the deep valley I was in, I never thought I would ever end up in such a nice relationship again and even be able to have two more children.

If you don’t know better and see us with all the stuff in the playground, you think we’re a bourgeois couple. We are all doing well. The children occasionally see their father under supervision and receive specialized help in coping with their trauma. I myself talk a lot with Joshua about it. I try to look at it positively. I have been through the worst that can happen as a mother, but I have climbed out of the valley and stronger than ever.

Filming together

I don’t do much porn now. Joshua doesn’t like it when I have sex with other men. He doesn’t want to see any old movies either, he’s too jealous for that. If I make something now, it’s only with him. I was completely flabbergasted when he first suggested recording something together. He had no experience with sex films at all, so he had to get over a threshold. The first time was a fiasco. We are used to making love to each other, but a sex scene with cameras is something completely different. It wasn’t until we were both more relaxed that we got it on the screen.

We have now recorded a film together three times, but it is actually not really necessary anymore. I can also make a living of my name and fame. From the clicks, from signatures that people want to buy from Bibi or worn panties.

In any case, I don’t see myself getting to work that quickly after the last horror birth. Our little J. (3 months) was born with an emergency caesarean section. Physically I still haven’t recovered. The scar is also in a place that is not useful as a porn actress, so for the time being I’m home and enjoying being a mother. This role suits me best. “

This article can be found in Kek Mama 01-2021.

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