‘The alcohol in a small bottle of wine does wonders’
Patricia van Liemt is a radio host, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes accurate, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.
They sometimes say: ‘The hairdresser’s children have the longest hair.’ A good example of this saying is myself – I’ll get to that in a moment – and an ex-boyfriend. He was tall, blond, and handsome, but hopelessly confused emotionally. So when I asked what his parents were up to on our third date, I was amazed that his mother was a psychiatrist. He’d missed a lot of therapy hours, shall we say, and our tempestuous relationship came to an end after three complicated but eventful months.
fear of flying
My mother was also inspired. Literally. She was a flight attendant. for 45 years. Flying was very normal in our home, but I was terrified to get on a plane. We also used flying jargon. For example, we were not talking about planes, but about ‘crates’ and ‘the crew’, instead of the personnel. A row of Delft blue houses adorned the windowsill in our kitchen and my sister and I often had to be quiet, because our mother was sleeping off her New York jet lag.
In fetal position
From the age of fourteen I developed a serious fear of flying. My mother took me to India and while everyone was sleeping I was wide awake. Fearing for my life during a nine-hour turbulent flight. While my mother was busy preparing breakfast, I counted down the horrific hours in a fetal position. In the meantime I have managed to get my fear of flying under control with various courses. But it’s impossible to really pass.
Also read: ‘I heard myself say, ‘Would you put on that sweater?’ Terrible!’
Alcohol does wonders
As I write this, I’m waiting at the gate to fly over an ocean for eight hours. I look for that anxious feeling, but I find that I have my nerves fairly under control. Did I solve that rationally? New. The alcohol in a small bottle of wine does wonders on an empty stomach. Yes, I self medicate† Do not judge† It’s either this or I don’t get in. This morning I also quickly bought some Valdispert Extra Strong. *pops a pill*. Ready to fly!
lightly intoxicated
Well, you can ask yourself whether it is educationally sound: a mother who gets on the plane slightly inebriated. But everything for the kids. Maria, my oldest, looks at me and I recognize her look immediately. Like looking in the mirror (yes, minus the alcohol). “Mom, it’s scary…” she says. ‘Oh dear, you really don’t have to. Flying is fun and also super safe!’ I hear myself say. I take her hand and she leans against me. Then she turns back to me and asks, “Mom, can I go to the hairdresser in New York?” – ‘How so?’ I ask surprised. “My hair is just really long all of a sudden.” I laugh and tell her I think that’s a good idea.
More columns from Patricia? Every Friday there is a new column on KekMama.nl. Read the previous columns here.
