‘Stop asking kids what they want to be when they grow up’
Firefighter, teacher, doctor or princess: if you ask a child what he wants to be when he grows up, those are about the answers. If it’s up to blogger Thao Thai, we’ll stop with that question from now on. ‘Being a ballerina, dentist or teacher is not who you are. It’s a job.’
According to her, we better ask this.
Dentist, ballerina and teacher
Thao’s 5-year-old daughter was at the dentist’s when she was first asked the well-known question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Her answer was clear: dentist. But that’s not her only career path. “I also want to be a ballerina. And baby teacher,” she said. When she got home, the girl didn’t care and immediately took out her dentist’s toys. Thao remembers this stage well in her own childhood. “The first time I saw my teacher, I knew: later I will also be in front of the class. And when I saw a caricaturist at work, I drew all summer.”
No identity, but a job
So it’s not surprising that Thao became a real job hopper. Editor, barista, nanny, librarian: she can tick it all off. “I think my daughter needs the same prospect: opportunities,” the mother wrote. And that makes Thao think: why are we so eager to ask children what they want to be when they grow up? “As if there is a connection between your identity and your profession. Being a ballerina, dentist or teacher is not who you are. It is a job.”
Also read: Performance pressure in children: ‘When my child remained seated, I wanted to talk the teacher over’
Future full of possibilities
According to Thao, what people should ask children is: ‘What do you want to learn?’ or “What experiences are you looking forward to?” She hopes to tell her daughter that she has plenty of options in the future. “Hopefully she will find the resilience to start over and make the wrong choices, but also to choose what makes her curious. And if she does find her dream job right away? Then I can learn a lot from her.”
Source: Scary Mommy
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