‘Should I let my son (9) take it up less for others?’

Sometimes you can’t figure it out on your own and you could use some advice. Every Tuesday a reader therefore tells about her dilemma.

Corina (40) lives with Joost (40) and is mother of Joah (9) and Elvie (3).

“Life is hard, and children are even harder. I find it all the more powerful that my son Joah invariably stands up for children who are bullied or excluded. That is not always appreciated. The bullies in the class sometimes see it as a reason to get him too, and the children he champions are not necessarily his friends afterwards.

Altruism

I admire his authenticity and sense of justice, but because of that he takes more blows than many other children. It makes it hard, Joost thinks. Grows character. But for me, my son’s altruism does have a downside. Someone who is always ready for others, also brings on people with less good intentions. Those who find it useful, such a shock absorber. But not automatically ready for him.

Read also

Bullying or exclusion in the class app: 1 in 4 children experiences it >

Choose for yourself

Of course I don’t want my child to learn to be cynical in life, or to be too wary. But I also think it’s important that he dares to choose for himself. That he doesn’t always have to put himself in second place to serve a higher purpose. How do we find a middle ground here?”

More episodes of the dilemma? Every Tuesday there is a new story on KekMama.nl. Read the previous dilemmas here.