‘My son cried as a baby twenty hours a day’

In On the stage let’s talk about motherhood every week with an influencer. This time we speak to Erin Ameling, also known as mini love, mother of Senn (5) and Keet (1).

Introduce

• Name: Erin Ameling (28)
• Relationship: lives with Peter
• Children: Senn (5) and Keet (1)
• Instagram: @minilove
• Number of followers: 14,500

You are a momfluencer: how did that come about?

“Five years ago, shortly after Senn was born, I became more active on Instagram. Senn was a crybaby, so it was a rough time. At the time, I could find few recognizable stories on the internet – I only saw perfect families on a pink cloud, something I did not recognize. To break the taboo, I decided to write the stories myself. And that caught on, because there were a lot of followers. What a relief: I wasn’t the only one with a crybaby. On Instagram I also consciously share the difficult side of motherhood, but lately I sometimes struggle with that. Which moments do I share and which do I not? I don’t want to make my children too vulnerable, but I also want to be honest. I don’t know exactly where that limit is yet, but I regularly discuss it with Peter.”

How did that period affect your life?

“That was a rough time. It was a lot of work with a cry baby and besides, we hardly slept. From birth, Senn cried for twenty hours a day – and that sound really went through my heart. The maternity nurse found us crying on the couch every morning. Senn is our first child, so I was very insecure: what am I doing wrong? Besides, nobody took us seriously. We were constantly told that crying is part of it. Did we just estimate parenthood too rosy? Only when my mother recognized certain traits of me in Senn did we end up in the medical mill. What turned out? Senn had reflux in combination with a cow’s milk allergy, just like I used to. By following a strict regimen and dairy-free diet food, we got our lives back on track after about six months. Then came the biggest blow: I got burned out and Peter and I were about to split up. Fortunately, through a lot of conversations and attention, we found each other again.”

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How did that affect your wish for a second child?

“Yes, we deliberately waited a little longer. The fear of another crybaby was too great – I didn’t know if we could handle it. That’s why we waited for Senn to go to school. Suppose our second child also cried so much, then he was at least a bit more independent. Fortunately, Keet was doing a lot better. It sounds silly, but that was really a relief. Yet the fear is still there. With every cry that is a little more intense, I start. That’s a small blemish on our luck. At the same time, I enjoy Keet a lot more consciously, because I missed Senn’s babyhood.”

What characterizes you as a mother?

“I don’t like to play with blocks and Duplo, but I love to joke, go crazy and sing. I like to make my kids laugh. We often hear giggles here, haha. What also characterizes me is my chaotic household. Keeping all the balls up is not always possible, because usually the balls are lost. Recently I had an error when I picked up the children from daycare and put them in the car – which is already quite a hassle. Then one of the two began to roar because he was hungry. When I got home I forgot to get food, so we ordered something.”

Do you ever get nasty comments online?

“Yes, more and more. A while ago I got an annoying message: ‘You have such a perfect life, what did you say?’ Sometimes people think it’s weird that I’m still breastfeeding Keet. Such criticism does more to me than I would like. So, keyboard heroes, think twice before you speak, because you could hurt someone with it.”

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