‘My sister can’t handle my busy boys (4), now what?’

Marieke (35) lives with Martijn (39) and is the mother of twins Jeppe and Oskar (4).

“My sister was very happy when she – herself a mother of two girls for three years – became an aunt to my children. Now it was even more fun to go to the zoo together, eat pancakes, or do crafts for grandma, she cooed. My sister and I are close and together half the time. Our men are also close friends. But a few years into joint motherhood, our children seem less fond of each other.

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boys

My sister’s daughters think my sons are fierce. It is also quite a dose of testosterone, two boys of four together. Where the girls want to tinker, Jeppe and Oskar break down the tent. And feeding the ducks in the park means climbing every tree as high as possible for my boys.

I see the disappointment on the faces every time we are together. Not only with my nieces, but also with my sister. He doesn’t understand why I don’t intervene harder when my children are once again at each other’s hair. She doesn’t care that it’s just the energy between boys.

At the same time, I think she should be able to help out a little more when that energy gets too intense. Girls at that age are simply a lot calmer and less work, as mothers. I feel judged in my motherhood, but when I mention it, my sister denies it. In the meantime, the frequency of our joint afternoons with children is decreasing. What now?”

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