‘My husband wants me to give birth in the hospital, but I really don’t want to’

Shanaya (29) lives with Armaan (31). They have a daughter (3) and are expecting their second soon.

“Our oldest daughter was born at home. A well-considered choice: after a glowing pregnancy, it seemed the most natural to me. In addition, I absolutely hate hospitals, the smell alone gets me on my hips. How could I ever be relaxed enough there to bring my child into the world?

Complications

During the delivery there was a small complication: our daughter became short of breath because the pushing lasted an hour and a half, and it turned out that she had inhaled amniotic fluid. As a result, we still had to be hospitalized after the birth. Routine, our daughter was fine, but was given antibiotics as a precaution because the amniotic fluid in her lungs could also mean pneumonia, and the doctors did not want to take that risk.

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Home vs hospital

A second birth is usually faster. And this time too the baby is doing great and there is no reason why I should not bring our child into the world at home. But my husband finds it terrifying after the previous experience. He wants me to deliver in the hospital so that help is always available when something goes wrong. We live a five minute drive from the hospital. When I give birth on the spot, a doctor also has to be paged first. So I don’t see the difference, except that I don’t have to think about having to go in the car with contractions.

Yet for me the natural and safe environment without scary germs outweighs a birth in the hospital. I respect my husband’s fear, but I’m the one who has to bring our child into the world. So it’s best to do that in a place where I feel safest. Now that the birth of our child is getting closer and closer, the discussions between Armaan and me are increasing. How do I deal with this?”

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