Mother writes: ‘Please give your son that doll or a princess dress’

This mother makes a plea as to why it is a good idea to let little boys play with ‘girl toys’.

‘Girlish’

Tribal parents still open a box of tricks when it appears that their son would like to wear a dress or play with dolls. With a clever diversion (“Look! A fire engine!”) They try to keep their child away from anything that smacks of ‘girlish’. Mother Amber Leventry does not only think that is old-fashioned, but takes it a step further. ‘Forbidding your son to play with dolls, wear nail polish, put on a tutu, or grow his hair is dangerous. Making fun of him when he does is abuse. ‘

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Rigid ideas

“If you criticize your son’s choices based on gender stereotypes, it says more about you than your child.” According to Leventry, many parents immediately think of ‘blue’ as soon as the ultrasound shows a penis. ‘The boy will become adventurous, strong and tough. Because little boys grow up thinking that one day they will be the breadwinner of the family. ‘

Considerate husbands and fathers

The mother clarifies that parents who do not allow their child to discover different sexual roles, project their own fear and shame on their child. “ Taking pleasure out of your child because you think he shouldn’t play with anything that hurts no one but your ego is disgusting and selfish. Why don’t you want your son to show empathy and love for a baby doll? What’s wrong with a boy wanting to take care of a doll? If we want men to grow up to be fine husbands and fathers, we have to start somewhere. ‘

Protect children

We (still) live in a heterogeneous society. According to Leventry, it’s not surprising that parents panic when their son puts on high heels or wants a Barbie. Parents know that there is a chance that people will ridicule their child because society tries to convince men and boys that women and girls are weaker than they. Everything that does not ‘fit’ with that image becomes the target of ridicule. “There is a deep-seated need to protect our children from outside harm. That’s why parents discourage their boys from playing with ‘girl stuff.’

Queer or transgender

‘When a boy plays with a doll, he is not seen as caring, creative and sweet, but as weak. We can break this cycle. Get your son that tea set, that party dress and glitter shoes if he asks for it. Unless he tells you otherwise, the only conclusion you can draw from that is that he likes pink and glitter. And what if your child is queer or transgender? Then your child is still your child who needs unconditional love, support and protection. Not accepting your child as he is drives him toward depression and self-harm. Seek help so you can be the parent he needs. ‘

‘Boys will be boys’

Give a boy the option to play with dolls too – even if he doesn’t specifically ask. Take a critical look at your own prejudices (and those of your family members) and throw them in the trash, the mother says. “No one dies from men who embrace a softer version of themselves.”

Source: Scary Mommy

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