Kelly’s son is terminally ill: ‘I’m going to lose my child’

Image: Kelly Kerkhof

For Kelly Kerkhof, her worst nightmare has become reality. Her son Milan (8) has a brain tumor and will not get better. They now want to make beautiful memories with the whole family.

Four years ago, the world collapsed from under Kelly and her family. With her Milan, then only 4, a tumor is found in his head. “An absolute nightmare, we didn’t know what to do. Above all, there was a lot of fear: what would we do without Milan?” The family has to switch quickly: mind at zero and in survival mode. After an emergency operation of almost eight hours, there is good news; the doctors are satisfied at that time.

Heartbreaking

An exciting period follows in which they wait for the results of the tumor to arrive. Will this be benign? But no, it turns out to be a medulloblastoma; one of the most malignant and aggressive brain tumors. “Tough treatments followed; radiation and chemotherapy. A very difficult period in which Milan became very ill. It is heartbreaking to see your child like this and you feel terribly powerless as parents.” The doctors are positive, but also warn the parents. “If the cancer came back, it would no longer be treatable.”

Nerve-racking

Milan is checked every quarter, every time a nerve-racking moment for the whole family. Things seem to be going well and Milan celebrated its eighth birthday last December, still fairly carefree. But then things go wrong. Around the holidays, the whole family is struck down by the flu: father, mother, sister Lizzy (2) and Milan also do not feel fit. Everyone recovers, except Milan. “Ah, we thought. That may take a little longer for Milan because his immune system is less strong due to all the heavy treatments. But Milan continues to struggle. In fact, Milan is starting to get very shaky again when walking.”

Alarm bells

Kelly’s alarm bells go off when he also starts spitting. That’s how the nightmare started four years ago. “Would it then…? No, we don’t dare and don’t want to think about this. We are suddenly in fear and call in Milan’s treating doctor, who works at the Princess Máxima Center in Utrecht.” Fortunately, they can get there quickly. “As a mother, it really scared me. On the day of the scan I am sick of the tension and I get in the car to Utrecht. I have such a terrible premonition about it inside. ” The results would take two days, the doctors say, but Kelly is already called on the way back.

“At that moment, things happen to you that are difficult for me to describe. I’m going to lose my child. This can and should not be the case. Our worst nightmare has come true this day. I am angry, very distraught and full of sadness. What should I do and what can I do? Then to think that we are still in the car with Milan on the way home. Once home I can only cry, just like the rest of the family. But this is not possible all the time, because Milan is happy and wants to ‘just’ play. How am I going to tell my child? It’s not too
do and unbearable.”

“I am going to lose my child. This cannot and should not be the case.”

Sleepless nights and long conversations follow. “The doctors are sweet, but very clear and also to Milan. The cancer won’t go away, they tell him. What should an eight-year-old child do with that message? Does he understand what’s coming? He is a smart boy and we try to involve him in things as gently and subtly as possible. It’s incredibly heartbreaking
to have to talk to your kid about things like a funeral. I would give my own life for this tough guy, but I can’t. If we do nothing, Milan will only be with us for a few weeks.”

Kelly and her husband decide to go for radiation treatments. A difficult choice, because they think their son has already had enough to choose from. “But a few weeks or a few months, that’s quite a difference. We want to make so many of Milan’s dreams come true.”

“I would give my own life for this tough guy, but I can’t.”

crowdfunding

As long as Milan is still there, the family wants to fulfill as many of his wishes as possible. Make beautiful memories. “We would like to take him to Disneyland because four years ago he thought it was so magical to cuddle with Mickey Mouse. He recently obtained his A diploma and it is a very big dream to go to Curaçao to swim with dolphins there. A last holiday with the family where Milan can still play in the sand with his sister and swim with his favorite animal. How fantastic that would be.”

To realize these wishes, Milan’s parents have set up a crowdfunding campaign. You can donate here.

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