‘I refuse to test my child for ADHD’

Mechteld: “Alwin was already so busy in my stomach that he kicked my bruised ribs. “Well, he’ll let you know he’s there,” the midwife joked. Until he could walk, he sat in a sling with his face forward, especially to get to know everything that was going on around him, but also not to lose contact with me. He needed incentives all the time.

Alwin was always with me, he did not accept the box. He had his own kitchen cupboard, with plastic dishes, which he emptied while I cooked. His afternoon nap was a thing of the past when he was a year old.

“It’s a fast one,” they said at the daycare center. Once in primary school, Alwin was anything but a wallflower. His results were excellent, his demand for attention commensurately high.

Upside down in his seat

He was given enrichment to temper his busy behavior in class. Alwin was just bored, school thought. But the enrichment did not help; he always sat back to front or upside down in his chair. In grade 5, a teacher asked for the first time, “Have you ever thought about ADHD?”

Sure we did, and concluded that it wasn’t. Alwin was just a boy, maybe a little more busy than average. But he could also spend hours sunk in a Donald Duck pocket or build Lego. Not exactly characteristics for a child with ADHD.

Come on, a general test

Of course: we are not experts. So we decided to have Alwin tested anyway, but as broadly as possible, and not specifically for ADHD. If he had something wrong, it would come out. But nothing came out, other than that he might have some characteristics of ADD, so without the hyperactive aspect. But the remedial educationalist based that only on the fact that when Alwin had to assemble a doll, he had placed the arms in the place of the legs, and the legs in the place of the arms. Anything but worrying, she concluded. Typically Alwin’s humor, we concluded.

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‘Then it performs better’

The teachers in group 6, in group 7; they kept saying the same thing. Alwin was so mobile, it couldn’t be that nothing was wrong with him, could it? I pointed them to the pedagogical research report, but that did not help. We did agree to talks with the internal counselor. He concluded that Alwin is a smart boy, but very easily distracted. She ‘strongly’ advised us to have it tested again. I didn’t know what I was hearing: the pedagogical research report was right in front of her!

When my husband and I at the beginning of this year – Alwin was now in grade 8 – were called to the teacher again because of his busy behavior, I was done. “He’s fine, eleven-year-old boys just move!” I shouted. “There are more boys in the class with no clear diagnosis who still receive medication,” said the teacher, “and who perform many times better than before.”

No forced diagnosis

I almost exploded. My child does not need to perform better, it functions well; mobile or not. It is good that there is medication for children who need it, but I do not force a diagnosis for my, at most, somewhat busy son, to make things easier for the teacher.

We have now selected a secondary school for Alwin. The registration form has a note from the school: ‘Has undiagnosed concentration problems’. I signed it to get rid of the nagging and added the pedagogical research report. That is the last word I speak about it: I will no longer have my child tested for ADHD. As long as his performance is good, they get used to boy behavior. ”

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