“I heard myself say ‘Would you put that sweater on?’. Terrible!”

Patricia van Liemt is a radio host, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes accurate, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.

Were you allowed to wear everything from your parents as a child?

I was ALWAYS arguing with my mother or father about this. They often thought it was not neat enough or the occasion called for different clothing. While ‘appropriate clothing’ for a seven-year-old child is a relatively vague concept, Christmas clothing protocols prevailed in the Van Liemt household.

Neutral terrain

My sister didn’t really care what she wore and thought the outfits that were laid out for her on the bed were perfectly fine. I, on the other hand, had my own vision, a clear clothing opinion and this was often not in line with that of my parents.

But there was also neutral territory. Do you remember the Oilily brand? Before that, my mother and I had a truce. She liked to shop in a large outlet store of the brand and I really appreciated the quirky colors. Oilily did a lot of color blocking in particular.

A term that was not very well known in the 90s, but the designers loved the colors orange, red and pink and preferably combined in one sweater.

Also read: ‘I don’t want my children to get my girlfriend’s transfers’ >

Second-hand

But once again leaving the world of bright colors, the struggle continued. My parents didn’t understand the fact that I wanted a Levi’s 501 for men (because women’s had a narrow leg), and that those jeans also cost more than 100 guilders. Again negotiations took place and we found a compromise: I was allowed to buy a second-hand Levi’s.

Despite all struggles that my mother and I had about clothes, she passed on to me the love for second-hand clothes. Something I am very grateful to her for.

The new Dolce & Gabbana

Good. Back to my story. They often say ‘History repeats itself’ and I see the clothing dilemma unfolding again under my own inspiring leadership. My children are called Maria & Phaedra and I don’t see the new Dolce & Gabbana in them very quickly. That is not meant to be offensive, but everyone has their own talents.

I often heard myself say ‘Would you put on that sweater?’ or ‘Sorry sweetie, but those pants really can’t take anymore’.

And so I hated it when I did that, because who cares? Clothing is not so important in education. Let’s focus on the inside, social media already has such a big impact on our kids in terms of appearance.

But I find it really difficult and I regularly have to bite my tongue when they appear at the breakfast table in a ‘special’ creation.

I have agreed with them that I can only pass judgment on Christmas.

And I just throw that under the heading traditions…

More columns from Patricia? Every Friday there is a new column on KekMama.nl. Read the previous columns here.