‘I breastfed my child longer to lose weight’

Patricia van Liemt is a radio presenter, writer and mother of Maria (13) and Phaedra (10). Every Friday she writes striking, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.

It took ten years, but only now do I dare to say it: I breastfed my second child for longer, purely to lose weight. Yes, you read that right. Nothing no ‘because it’s better for the baby’. No, it was better for me and my mental health.

Breastfeeding was horrible

Let me also say right away that I really found breastfeeding hell (!). From the first to the last moment I thought it was terrible. Several factors played a role in this. One was that I didn’t like my breasts. So when I was twenty I took silicone. The fear that they would leak quickly prevailed, so I had them removed again after a year and a half.

Okay, back to breastfeeding. The very idea that someone could catch a glimpse of my breasts terrified me. That felt like I was going to cross every boundary of myself. And yet I did it for several weeks. Under pressure from society and the lactation ladies in the hospital. ‘Your feeling will surely change’, were their words. Well, not good. As I expected, I was horrified!

“The very idea that someone could catch a glimpse of my breasts terrified me”

Lots of uncertainty

I was pregnant with six girlfriends at the same time. Five of them had no difficulty breastfeeding. I’m not talking about the milk flow, thrust and that kind of trouble, but about the concept; feel comfortable and comfortable while breastfeeding. It made me feel even more insecure. And as much as I would have liked to be rational about it, at that moment I mainly had to deal with a lot post-preggy hormones.

Read also: “Little kids, little worries, big kids, big worries.” Does that cliché seem to be true?

Still bubbles remain

So after three weeks of completely not being myself, but seeing the effect of breastfeeding on my own body – losing baby kilos – I switched to pumping. I struggled for a year and a half after my first child to get back to my old weight. I didn’t want to go through that again, so I pumped my taboo milk, all alone in a room, for weeks to come. The story I shared with the outside world was that I did it for my child. Back then, I didn’t share my real feelings with anyone. Now, years later and with more self-knowledge and self-love (!), I dare to admit it. I pumped to lose weight! Here you have it.

“So I pumped my taboo milk, all alone in a room, for weeks to come”

Everything is alright

As a (new) parent it is super important to feel comfortable in your own skin (whether weak or tight), because you have a very heavy and responsible task to fulfill. And you can only do it well if you are kind to yourself. So dear parents: everything is okay. Take good care of yourself and the baby will be fine too.

Would you rather listen to Patricia’s column? Which can. Every Sunday between 4 and 6 pm she reads it on Wild FM.