“Fine, as long as you get over the disappointment”

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If you ask your future parents if they would rather have a boy or a girl, a common answer is: ‘As long as it’s healthy’. Yet many parents (secretly) have a gender preference. What do you think? We asked on social media.

Opinions differ.

Gender Preference for Your Baby: Okay or Not?

• Daniel: “Of course you can have a preference. You are a free person. It is important to get over any disappointment quickly and to be happy with your child. I find the argument that ‘some cannot have children and you should not have a preference’ nonsense. Shouldn’t we also have a preference for dinner because some people in the world are hungry?”
• Tessa: “Sure!!! We had a girl and hoped for a boy. When it turned out to be a girl, it took some getting used to, but now that she is 7 months old, I am soooo crazy about that child and I don’t have to think about another child / sex. Why can’t you have a preference? I’m not ashamed of it!”
• Kimberly: “No, I don’t think so. Who cares what the gender will be. A child is a wonderfully blessed miracle regardless of gender! The most important thing is that the child can be healthy.”
• Manon: “I was sure that I would have a daughter, had the name all my life. Turned out to be a boy. Had to swallow. When the second one also turned out to be a boy, I was a bit disappointed. But in the end I am very happy with my men!!”
• Louise: “Of course you can have a wish… but I think you should be happy and grateful that you can and may have a child regardless of gender.”

Read also: Tessa: “Can everyone stop saying that a son and a daughter are a royal couple?”

• Tanja: “Having a preference is allowed. As long as you’re not disappointed. My eldest wanted a sister that became a brother. He very dry, oh yes a little brother also nice. That took 1 or 2 days and then super excited and he is overjoyed with a brother. He can now teach him all kinds of things that he couldn’t have done with a sister, that’s the reasoning. As long as your child is healthy, that is the most important thing and what everyone hopes for.”
• Ellen: “If you think like that, you have never experienced misery around pregnancy and childbirth. Unfortunately, I know from experience that you can be oh so happy that everything is okay, then gender doesn’t matter.”
• Angela: “Absolutely you can. Whether you like it or not, everyone has a preference in mind, but in the end it doesn’t matter what it is, both are fantastic.”
• Carlijn: “Of course you can have a preference, that really does not mean that you love your baby less. I had AND had fertility problems for 9 years AND I was still disappointed not to have a daughter with 2 pregnancies and 2 boys. Of course I love them dearly, but I also really miss a daughter… That feeling is certainly there, it is (unfortunately) very strong with me. But that is completely separate from the love and gratitude that is also there.”
• Linni: “Of course you can. Only someone has to get over his disappointment when things are different and be happy when things are healthy and everything goes well.”

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