‘Do you know that the fifties are over, she asked’
Image: Getty Images
Claudia (34) is married to Gijs (37) and mother of a son (3) and a daughter (2). She quit her job when her oldest was born.
“Many people think I’m crazy when I say this, but I genuinely enjoy indoor playgrounds. There are three in our area and I visit one every week, sometimes twice a week. I don’t think it’s a shriek palace or play hell, but a place where I can see my children move, play, discover, laugh and enjoy. Spending time there makes my day. Yes, that sounds sweet, but that’s just how it is. Then I’m glad I can do this, on a regular Tuesday or Thursday morning.
Cancel job
I never thought I would quit my job. I enjoyed being a nurse and I wanted to continue working 24 hours a week. But then Noah was born and after my leave I tried to combine work and motherhood for a few months.
“The construction we came up with didn’t work for a meter”
Where my girlfriends and colleagues seemed to manage that smoothly, I was just struggling. It was a hassle with breastfeeding, but I insisted on completing a year. And we were messing around with the daycare because Gijs and I both have irregular working hours. The construction with grandparents and a babysitter at home that we had devised did not work at all and caused stress for me and Gijs and also for Noah, who slept and drank badly when we were not there ourselves.
And apart from that: I just didn’t want to be at work anymore. I felt out of place there, no matter how nice and sweet my colleagues were. What I never expected happened: I felt everything that my only place was home, with Noah.
Read also – Quitting your job: ‘I felt so relieved, even without the 2400 euros net per month’ >
Financial independence
Fortunately, we could afford it: living on one income. And my friend was happy that I took the plunge, because he noticed that the situation was not good for me or for Noah and therefore not for him. His support was very important to me.
I was shocked by the reactions I received, even from my parents. They thought it was unwise and started talking about what would happen if Gijs and I broke up. I understand that and financial independence is also important, but their reaction still hurt. I had had a rough time and my relief to find another solution was great. Why couldn’t they be happy for me?
“A friend asked if it was a joke”
Friends also reacted divided. Some understood and supported my decision, but there was also one who asked if it was a joke and if I even knew that the 1950s are over. I don’t speak to her much anymore.
Honestly, I think there’s a bit of jealousy involved here as well. Because one morning when I am at the petting zoo with two children, she has just delivered her children to the shelter with a lot of stress, only to be stuck in a traffic jam for an hour afterwards. I don’t judge that. If that’s her choice, it’s fine. But then she shouldn’t attack me on my choice.
Peace
I am now more hardened and I care less what others think. I am happy this way and it provides peace of mind, especially now that we have two children. This works for me, for Gijs too and therefore also for the children. I’ve learned to ignore reactions and focus on what’s really important. And I see that when I see two children roaring down a bright red bouncy castle slide. Then I know: this was the right choice.”
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