‘Cycling 9 kilometers in wet red pants’

Patricia van Liemt is a radio host, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes accurate, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.

In my previous column I told you that my first day at work was mainly characterized by my fear of not leaking. Not that I can leak, because I always use a super plus tampon and sanitary towel. This is due to a trauma from my childhood. A very large red stain on my Levi’s 501 in high school left a deep sense of shame. I was in the third grade of high school when this fate befell me. And I had my period for two years already ‘I should have know better’was the prevailing feeling.

wet red pants

I was quite young when I got my period; twelve years. I felt from the first moment that the subject fell into the taboo corner. No idea why, but everyone including my own mother was secretive about it. In our house there were whispers that I had had my period and my father muttered something obligatory of which I only understood the word ‘woman’. And that was that.

“I was so ashamed that I didn’t dare tell my mother what had happened”

After the concierge called my mother, I was allowed to go home. Nine kilometers on the bike with wet red pants. I was so ashamed that I didn’t dare tell my mother what had happened. When I got home I said I was just not feeling well and I secretly rinsed my pants and hung them to dry in the attic.

tampon shame

When I think back to this event it is really crazy. I even feel sorry for my younger self. But what makes me sadder is that menstruating is still taboo. There are always tampons in my bag and often enough one accidentally rolls out when I grab my wallet. I still pick that thing up with great shame.

And when I buy pads or tampons, I am always very aware that the package is very conspicuous in my shopping basket. And that everyone in line at the checkout knows that I use super plus tampons or – even worse – that I am on my period at that time. I really want to get rid of that tampon shame.

Also read: Everything you need to know about your child’s first period >

menstrual poverty

Last week I read a study that most men have their periods but think they are dirty. Look, that doesn’t help of course. Many more harrowing facts emerged from this investigation. That many women in the Netherlands suffer from menstrual poverty, for example. That means you don’t have enough money to buy tampons and pads. In many poor countries, girls don’t even go to school when they have their period. Then they are banished to a separate hut for four days where they have to sit out their uncleanness.

Out of the taboos

It is good that more attention has been paid to menstruation lately. For example, a tennis star admitted that she had to stop a match because she suffered from abdominal cramps too much. I liked that so much because she might as well have been lying and blaming an old injury.

“It is urgent to pull menstruation out of the taboos in 2022”

In my opinion, it is urgently necessary to pull menstruation out of the taboos in 2022. And it is high time for me personally to give my trauma a place, because I have not leaked once in the past 25 years. So maybe next time I’ll go for a normal tampon and panty liner…

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