‘At a big Turkish wedding I still get everyone quiet’
Image: Nine IJf
Derya Özugur (43) is married and has two children (12 and 14 years old). She is a wedding registrar and specializes in Turkish-Dutch weddings.
“Twenty years ago I married myself. It was not the day I would have liked it to be, and I also missed the enthusiasm and passion of the wedding officiant at other ceremonies, including those of a close friend and my stepbrother. I wanted to do that differently. I do wish other bridal couples a wedding ceremony that will still be fondly remembered fifty years from now. My daughter recently said: ‘I also want to be a wedding officiant, because Mom always comes home happy.’ That makes me proud.
Also read – Carola fell in love with her son’s teacher: ‘We have now been together for a year’ >
Stop time for a while
As a wedding officiant I have had the privilege of leading more than 250 ceremonies. I am of Turkish origin, in our culture a wedding is accompanied by pomp and circumstance, bells and whistles. The ceremony is more of a formality in between all the festivities.
I provide a different view of the event. I make time stand still for a moment and make sure that words really take on a value. That feelings that normally go unspoken now sound out loud. I completely empathize with the bridal couple. I don’t read a standard story about their first meeting and holding hands for the first time. I prefer to put into words what the choice to stay together forever does to them. My enthusiasm does the rest, I think.
“I make time stand still for a moment and make sure that words really take on a value. That feelings that normally go unspoken now sound out loud”
Ha, I have to admit: at a big Turkish wedding you never really get people quiet. But I manage to do it anyway, by not considering a ceremony as static. If someone is crying, I ask a question about it. That way I take advantage of the moment. It’s nice when I see stars in the eyes of the bridal couple when I speak to them or when they give me a hug. Then I know that as a ceremonial matchmaker I have struck the right chord.
The show must go on
There is also a tricky side to the profession: I operate on my own and that makes me vulnerable. When one of my dearest aunts passed away last year, I had to conduct a joyous ceremony that same day. I put on my make-up, put on my gown and stood there as a wedding officiant. The show must go on. The newlyweds always get the best version of me.”
This article is in the Kek Mama Love Special 2022.
Would you like to read more beautiful and recognizable stories from fellow moms? Subscribe now and receive Kek Mama first on your doorstep every month.
