‘As we ran, we were shot at’

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Amany (33) fled from Syria to the Netherlands at the end of 2015 with Belal (10) and Tasnim (9). Her husband had already fled two months earlier. Ahmed (3) was born here. Amany works as a nurse in a psychiatric clinic.

“One of the most difficult moments of my flight was at the border with Turkey. I knew the police could shoot us there. My four-year-old son walked beside me, I carried my two-and-a-half-year-old daughter, and our things were in a bag on my back.

Before we crossed the road, I grabbed Belal’s shoulders and said, ‘Do you love Daddy? Do you want to see daddy again? Then you must run now. You hold my hand, and you run. Whatever you hear or see, you keep running.’ He still sometimes talks about me saying that to him. For him it was so simple: if you run, you will see daddy again. He didn’t think about the bullets. Because as we ran, we were shot at. But we made it.

To flee

My husband had already fled to the Netherlands before, because he was called up to serve in the army in Syria. The war had been going on for years at that point. At first there were only three of us, but then I accidentally became pregnant with the second. I was unable to terminate the pregnancy, there was no good hospital nearby. So I gave birth with the help of a friend.

“I will never forget that hunger and that you can’t give your children what they need”

This made the situation even more difficult for us. Our village was surrounded by IS, nothing was let through. When there was really no food left, we cooked grass. I’ll never forget that hunger and that you can’t give your children what they need.

With a boat

After crossing the border into Turkey, we fled to Greece in a dinghy. I knew many people drowned on this crossing. At first I only thought about death, but when I got in I said to myself: we’re going to make it. I had to stay positive.

“’We’re going sailing, nice!’ I said to them. ‘Out to sea, with a boat!’ I broke down inside.”

I didn’t let my children see how dangerous it was or that I was actually afraid and that people could die. ‘Let’s go sailing, nice!’ I said to them. ‘Out to sea, with a boat!’ Inside I was broken. After an hour and a half we landed. Then I knew: now we are safe. We are not there yet, but the greatest danger is gone.

Also read – Steffi helps refugees on Lesbos: ‘I will constantly tell their stories’ >

Set goals

From Greece we traveled to the Netherlands via Macedonia, Serbia, Slovakia, Austria and Germany. Those first weeks here were difficult. I’m very active, but we had to wait. I only felt calmer when we got a residence permit and a house of our own. The children went to school, my husband and I learned Dutch. Great, I thought, now I can start setting goals.

I was a nurse in Syria, that’s my dream job, so that’s what I wanted to be in the Netherlands again. But I had no idea how to handle that. Through Facebook I came into contact with other refugees and we helped each other every step of the way. My children were my motivation at that time. I don’t want to be a mother sitting on the couch at home. I got my driver’s license, did internships and passed my medical exams. Meanwhile, I was pregnant with my third, but I kept going.

This week I finally received my BIG registration number, the Dutch flag is still hanging on the facade. I just managed to do that, I’m so happy, so happy!

Change

At first I found it difficult to adjust here. I missed my country, my family and I even thought the trees here were ugly. But now everything is beautiful and I see that everything has a soul. I don’t think I want to go back, I would miss it here too much; my work, my colleagues, my super sweet neighbours.

“At first I even thought the trees here were ugly, but now everything is beautiful”

Flight has changed me, it has made me strong. When I think about everything I’ve been through and now, look: I’m just smiling. And I have everything. I really have everything.”

This article appears in Kek Mama 09-2022.

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