“A little voice inside me says I’m a bad mother”
Patricia van Liemt is a radio host, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes accurate, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.
I let it go. At least that’s what I thought. A little voice inside me tells me I’m a bad mother. Every morning I wake up with that feeling only to give in again. The two happy children’s faces don’t help either. Happy children in the morning are worth gold. Starting your day with a bunch of whining, whining kids really ruins the rest of the day. When they get out of bed cranky, that negativity spreads like an oil slick over the family, and by that I mean myself.
little magic wand
On such mornings I find it so hard to be the happy mother. Like nothing’s wrong, while I’m singing inside: ‘I HATE YOU SO MUCH. ACHHHH’ (Remember that song by Kelis from the ’90s?) Of course I don’t ‘hate’ my children, but I would like a small magic wand. Then I would simsalabim set the clock to 8:06 and wave them goodbye. Toedeledokie! Have a great day at school. Bye. No, give me those mornings when everyone’s zen. And by that I don’t mean in line, like the von Trapp family, but just chill† No whining, no complaining and no buts. Just wake up peacefully and eat my breakfast in peace. If necessary in silence. Fine.
Bowl of cornflakes
Your best bet for a drama-free breakfast is with a bowl of Kellogg’s. My kids love it, but how healthy is it really? I heard that there is a layer of frying fat around it, not to mention the sugars. After some googling it turns out not to be that bad, but a boiled egg is healthier, shall we say. Every once in a while the angry voice in me wins and I try to serve them something different in the morning. But the resistance to my toil is not worth it. And so they now eat a bowl of cornflakes every day.
pregnancy craving
Last week my husband and I had a reflective conversation about our parenting skills and I brought up my guilt over breakfast. His response: “But do you think it’s crazy that they eat that?” I looked at him in surprise. “Don’t you remember?” he continued. ‘What do I not remember?’ I asked him slightly irritated. “When you were pregnant I had to make you a bowl of Kellogg’s every night because you didn’t want to eat too many sweets,” he said. I was dumbfounded. I had completely forgotten that (gestational dementia?). We had to laugh and I suddenly felt the urge for a bowl of cornflakes…
More columns from Patricia? Every Friday there is a new column on KekMama.nl. Read the previous columns here.
