“Should I ask my sister-in-law to be my daughter’s nurse?”

Katrin (30) lives with Timor (30) and is the mother of baby Laura (6 weeks).

“In the area where I grew up, Estonia, women were hardly asked whether they wanted to breastfeed or bottle-feed when they were pregnant. Almost everyone breastfed – and still does. So I didn’t think about the fact that self-feeding is not a matter of course at all. Why, I thought when the midwife asked if I had already thought about it. A bottle was simply not an option.

The bottle

But Laura is now six weeks old and wants nothing but a bottle. Immediately after her birth, she was supplemented with formula in the hospital because she had an infection. After that, she had no interest whatsoever in the breast. It’s one big, hellish battle. I pump to maintain my milk production. To then give Laura that food in a bottle, because she flatly refuses my breast. I’m just feeding. Get stressed out when I know Laura is about to come again. I got help from maternity care. Friends with experience and my mother. But the more people get involved, the more stressed I get, and Laura responds to that again.

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min

My sister-in-law gave birth a little over a month before me. Breastfeeding goes without a hitch for her. She has already offered to pump extra for Laura if I can no longer breastfeed. I think it is important from a health point of view that Laura drinks human milk. I trust my sister-in-law and she lives healthy. Still, I find it a barrier to give my daughter the milk of another woman. Which I think is strange about myself, because I would eventually give her the milk of a cow.

My sister-in-law then suggested that we try once to see if Laura would like to drink with her. Maybe it means she grabs my chest afterwards too. I think it’s an incredibly generous offer. And what if it works? Still, I think it’s a difficult decision, it’s quite an intimate thing. Do I really have to ask my sister-in-law to be my daughter’s nurse for once?”

More episodes of the dilemma? Every Tuesday there is a new story on KekMama.nl. Read the previous dilemmas here.