‘You used to have to listen to the teacher as a child, but times have changed’
Patricia van Liemt is a radio host, writer and mother of Maria (12) and Phaedra (9). Every Friday she writes accurate, honest, funny and above all recognizable columns about her life and motherhood.
My youngest daughter Phaedra had to stay in detention this week. This news was brought triumphantly by her older sister who came home from school alone. Actually, it’s very interesting to see this kind of animal sister competition: normally she talks incessantly, but like a predator watches her prey from a distance, she now quietly waited to see how I would respond to her message.
My degenerate mother’s laughter had clearly not seen them coming. Visibly upset, she asked what punishment I would give.
To talk
“I’m going to talk to Phaedra herself first,” I said. The fact that I didn’t immediately get angry was for the simple fact that I know that my youngest and her teacher are not each other’s blood type – something neither of them can really do anything about.
We lived in Switzerland for five years and you have the same teacher there for three years. A system that either works for or against you. Because just like in normal life, we can’t all go through one door. And that’s okay. Civility is desired of course, but again: no disaster if you don’t quite match with someone†
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Watch a movie
Well, about my youngest daughter… I’m glad that we live in the Netherlands again and that she only has to go through one school door with this teacher for a year.
When she came home fifteen minutes later, I asked her why she had to stay in detention. She had told the teacher that she found the film boring, so I asked her what the film was about. The movie itself was nice, but this was already the third time that the class ‘had’ to watch this movie. “Yes mom, and I think that’s boring and then I started chatting and then the teacher got angry.”
Well. What do you say to that?
Listen and respect
My parents used to tell me that I should just listen to the teacher and respect her, but times have changed. And of course you can choose the easy way by putting on a film for the third time, but know that there can be criticism. And why shouldn’t a nine-year-old girl be allowed to give that criticism? Just because she’s younger?
Of course I told Phaedra that talking through something is not the intention, but that I am certainly not angry with her. Because I think it’s very brave that she dared to be honest with the teacher.
Pride
My oldest daughter was there and accepted the whole thing with impunity. I even thought I saw a proud glance at her younger sister.
More columns from Patricia? Every Friday there is a new column on KekMama.nl. Read the previous columns here.
