Why am i not satisfied?

People with impostor syndrome dramatically underestimate their own performance. This can lead to overwork or resignation in the job. We spoke to a psychologist about the phenomenon.

We all know doubts: Am I good enough? Do i deserve this? Learning to deal with these thoughts is probably part of the development process of every human being. It becomes problematic when, deep down inside, they consider themselves to be fraudsters and compulsively put their skills under a bushel. The phenomenon is known as impostor syndrome and affects many people. It is estimated that up to 70 percent would have had such thoughts. The actress Jodie Foster wanted to return her Oscar in 1988. Her colleague Emma Watson stated in 2013 the Rookie Magazine: “It’s like my feeling of inadequacy increases the better I do it. I think any moment someone will find out that I am a total cheat and deserve nothing of what I have achieved. “

In an interview with t3n, psychologist and mental coach Yana Fehse explains that these destructive thoughts mostly come from childhood or teenage experiences. “Unfortunately, many learn at a young age that they are only worth something if they perform perfectly and do everything above average. As a result, these people can develop extreme self-doubt about their self-esteem. ”It is not known whether this is the case with Jodie Foster and Emma Watson. What is certain, however, is that this phenomenon can affect everyone. It doesn’t matter whether you are a woman or a man. And ethnicity, age or occupation do not protect either. This is often not noticeable for outsiders, because the thoughts do not always result in concrete behaviors that others can recognize.

Women often deal with fears differently than men.

A few differentiations are still possible. “Many scientific studies confirm that both women and men can be affected to the same extent,” says Yana Fehse, “but women often deal with their resulting fears differently than men.” Women, she explains, usually get along with each other Exert more effort and develop a veritable mania for perfectionism, while men are more quickly demotivated and more likely to give up. In the globally recognized classification system for medical diagnoses (ICD), the impostor phenomenon is not listed as a disease, it is more a personality trait that ranges from “not at all” to “very pronounced”. However, excessive self-criticism can lead to serious illnesses.

How strongly the self-doubts are pronounced and anchored in the person’s everyday life depends on the one hand on the individual personality, but also on various environmental factors. Internet platforms such as Instagram have also come under fire for this reason. There was a lot of outrage recently Wall Street Journal article, which was about the influence of Instagram on young users. The article refers to two internal reports by the company from 2019. Among other things, it says that one in five young people has poor self-esteem because of Instagram. Responsible are algorithms that increase the comparison with other people and the social pressure to lead an established life to a pathological level. Many want to be as successful as Chiara Ferragni or Christiano Ronaldo.

Sooner or later, this can also cause tangible problems in everyday work. Stress and dissatisfaction with work are often the result. Because those who think they are too bad for the job, for example, are more afraid of tasks, postpone them longer or tend to cover up their own mistakes, but also look for less help or overwork themselves to compensate for the alleged lack of competence. “If you don’t pull the rip cord in time and work on your own self-worth, the whole thing can lead to dire consequences not only on a psychological level, but also on a physical level,” explains Yana Fehse. In addition to depression, burnout and anxiety disorders, stomach cramps, high blood pressure or sleep disorders can also occur. Chronic diseases are also not excluded.

“It is important to understand that you can do something about it. Nobody has to live forever with extreme self-doubt, ”says the psychologist. “It is possible to get out of this negative spiral.” This attitude alone could already help people to see some light at the end of the tunnel. Daily self-recognition is also an effective measure to strengthen one’s own self-esteem. Those affected should look at a few positive experiences of the day in the evening and write down what they did well and what they can praise themselves for. It is very important to focus on your own competencies: “Which skills have I used to solve this task or to achieve that goal could be a question that sets the course,” explains the expert.

Even if it takes some effort, self-praise can sustainably strengthen self-esteem in this way after just a few weeks. “The key is to create a completely new habit of praising yourself. Since you can do this in a quiet little room, those affected should give this measure a chance, ”says Yana Fehse. They have nothing to lose, only to gain. However, if working on your own self-esteem alone does not work, you should definitely seek professional support, says the psychologist. It is important to convert the unrealistic self-concept into a realistic one, so that the perceived impostor can finally enjoy the success they deserve instead of suffering from it, or understand that they can implement things just as well as others.