‘We’re really not all floaty’

You see it more and more: pregnant women giving birth with a doula next to their bed. But what exactly does a doula do? What is the difference with a midwife? And isn’t it very floaty?

Pleunie Teunis (28), doula and birth coach, will update you.

Explain: what is a doula?

“I support women during pregnancy and childbirth, both physically and mentally. I am also a kind of confidant: someone who knows you well and knows exactly what your wishes are. An obstetrician is mainly concerned with the medical side. Some women consciously look for a midwife that suits them, but most simply choose a practice in their area. You sometimes see several midwives and therefore do not always know who is present at the birth. That is not the case with a doula.”

How was your delivery?

“It went completely different than I had hoped. The midwives at the practice were all busy, so I got a ‘flying tip’. She was a lovely woman, but she had little time to support me. She would pass by quickly and then leave me alone for a few hours. My partner was with me, but he had no idea what to do. I felt a little let down. Because I don’t wish that feeling on any woman, I am now a doula. Women who give birth for the first time often think: I’ll see how it goes. But why? Don’t take it for a test drive. You will remember the feeling during your birth for the rest of your life.”

So what exactly do you do?

“We prepare your ideal birth together, but we also discuss which steps to take if things go differently. During childbirth I regularly check how a woman is feeling and what she needs. If a woman doesn’t feel like it anymore, I help to let go of those thoughts. Or we do breathing techniques together that we have practiced. I can imagine that people are afraid that I’m watching them all the time, but I’m not. I really don’t hold your hand all the time. If necessary, I also give the partner subtle tips to help.”

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But you can’t plan a birth, can you?

“No that is right. And that is why you should prepare well. We don’t know in advance whether the baby is a stargazer or poops in the amniotic fluid. But we can go through those scenarios and discuss the options. Women often follow the advice of the midwife because they do not understand what is happening. I’m not saying you should have your heels in the sand, but you should make a choice that you stand by, not because you don’t know the options. In the first coaching session, we will discuss your ideal birth, if everything goes as planned. We also practice different press postures. In the second session, we talk about interventions and complications.”

Isn’t a doula very floaty?

“I certainly believe that there are floating and spiritual doulas, but that is not the case with all of them. I am very practical myself.”

Does a doula only come for home births?

“No, it’s really fifty-fifty. A doula is especially important in the hospital, because we can provide a homely and pleasant atmosphere there. During an introductory meeting, people often ask if the hospital staff is okay with me coming. Fortunately, they always respond very positively. Ultimately, we both have the same goal: a happy woman with a happy baby.”

Can you be called at any time for a delivery?

“Yes, even in the middle of the night. It can be quite intense at times, but that’s part of it. Fortunately, I have a very nice safety net for my daughter: a babysitter is always available. And once I’m awake, I’m full of adrenaline and I’m going for it right away.”

Which moment really stuck with you?

“During a medical birth, I had a very beautiful connection with a woman. With each contraction she sought my eyes and hands and I coached her through it. Normally a midwife helps with the exorcism (the birth of the baby, ed.), but now I was allowed to do the last part. Very special.”

Hiring a doula is becoming increasingly popular. How did that happen?

“I think there are several factors at play. As a doula, we can spread the word more easily on social media. We try to stimulate women: stand up for your birth! Also, more and more women are aware of their choices in childbirth. Women are in more and more senior positions, are very good at directing people, but when it comes to giving birth, they let it take its course. There is now a switch in that.”

Want to know more about Pleunie? You will find more information on her website.

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