‘We both have a license to cheat’

May 6, 2022 Luisa Rey

Image: Getty Images

Marjon does have a nice weekend relationship with Guus, but that is a bit scanty for her sex needs. And then Guus made an attractive proposal.

Marjon (33), mother of Tygo (4), has a relationship with Guus (44), father of Daan (12):

“I met my friend Guus quite by accident through a community for single parents. We both responded to a post about single holidays. Then I got a friend request from him, which I did not accept. After all, I didn’t know this man at all.

Later, Guus sent me a message via Messenger in which he said that he had rather large fingers and that he had accidentally pressed ‘send invitation’. Sounded like an excuse, but we got talking. Then we made phone calls and were on the phone until three in the morning; we felt a huge click.

Contents

1 New relationship
2 pear ice cream sex
3 During the week another
4 free pass

New relationship

The first sex followed weeks later. We had been on dates a few times before and Guus had already warned me: he didn’t do one-night stands or flings. It was sex and a relationship or just not. I found him very attractive and although I was not looking for stability, I wanted this man. But there were still a few things that made it complicated.

Like the distance: we live more than a hundred kilometers apart and we both have children who have to go to school and go to clubs. In addition, I also had a special situation, so that my child is always with me and we are therefore not without my son Tygo for a day or weekend. Four years ago I became a widow. My husband Don and I were together for ten years and got Tygo. But just after Tygo was born, my husband died in an accident.

This naturally caused a lot of grief and also a lot of arranging and hassle. But after a year I was back on my feet. I was still young, had a whole life ahead of me and wanted to enjoy it. The disadvantage was that there was no longer a daddy involved and I was the only one who took care of Tygo 24/7. In addition, I am a real sticky mom, I like to keep my chick very close to me. I breastfed him for up to two and a half years and until recently he still slept in my bed at night.

pear ice cream sex

With a new love, having a child next to you in bed is of course not useful or sexy. But I immediately said to Guus: ‘You can’t agree with my upbringing, you have to respect it. This is my way, I want to be there for Tygo when he needs me.’

Even now it regularly happens that I first put Tygo in his own bed, but that he still crawls with us during the night. Oh, that also makes you inventive. Sometimes we are so excited in the morning that I hand Tygo an iPad to watch Paw patrol, while I hide under the sheets to spoil Guus. When Tygo was younger we did ‘pear ice cream’ sex. Then we’ll put Tygo downstairs. Just when he was eating an ice cream, we went for a quickie.

“Right when my son was eating an ice cream, we had a quickie”

In this relationship I discovered sides of myself that I did not know. I think because I trust him completely. With Guus I dare to be open and surrender to him. I enjoy it when he pulls my hair in the heat of the moment and I enjoy being submissive. I always have an orgasm with him. Guus takes his time, puts me at ease. Don’t be alarmed if I react emotionally during sex or suddenly get a whine.

Also read: To a swingers club together: ‘My husband thought I should work on this flirt’ >

During the week another

But he is also the first with whom I could share my wish to have sex with someone else. Not because I want to leave him, certainly not. Guus and I form the main relationship, are each other’s future. We have involved our children and are convinced of each other. But I am very curious and have a great sex drive. Guus and I only see each other on weekends. The times he has his son, I go to him, otherwise he is with me. Sometimes we take a break and skip a week. I find it very difficult that we see each other so little, precisely because I miss the sex so much.

Guus therefore suggested establishing a kind of ‘friends with benefits’ relationship during the week. He gave me a license to cheat occasionally. But on the condition that he was allowed to do so, that I had to be honest about it and with veto power. If he didn’t find the lover in question, it would stop.

“I can safely say that a colleague makes me excited”

I thought that was a real gift. It’s just a wonderful idea that I’m allowed to flirt. Giving an occasional wink or making an ambiguous, telltale comment to “eye candy.” It’s also nice that I can tell all that to Guus. I can safely say that I am turned on by a colleague and thus share my deepest fantasies about it with him. Conversely, I also think the idea that he has sex with someone else is fine. I’m not jealous, don’t feel rejected or less attractive if I know he’s having sex with someone else. I just don’t need to see it. So swinging is not an option.

free pass

Until now, we have not actually practiced having sex with another person. We both had the chance, but we turned down the potential candidate in question. For example, I saw the schoolyard mother who almost literally threw herself at Guus’ feet and wanted much more as a no-go. She was pretty, but she didn’t have a beautiful personality. And he thought the friend of acquaintances of mine, with whom I had a wonderful time at a party, a bad idea. Someone in the group of friends gets too close. Besides, this man was married and wanted to sleep with me, but kept it a secret from his wife. I’m not starting that.

“It is our veto right that makes it fair and safe”

So far we’ll stick to flirting and fantasizing. But the funny thing is: that license makes me feel even more attracted to my own guy and it brings us even more together. If you’re allowed to do anything, you never have to worry about your partner doing something sneaky. It is precisely our right of veto that makes it fair and safe.”

Would you also like to be interviewed for this column? Mail to editorial@kekmama.nl.

This article appears in Kek Mama 04-2022.


Release all brakes and discover the best position together with this torque vibrator. Waterproof, low in noise and easy to carry.	Ideal if you want to try something different. This gift box has different toys for both men and women and is perfect as a gift.	Nice and multifunctional, you can use this toy in several ways. Which place are you going to encourage?

I want this one!	Sounds good.	Order now.