That went wrong: ‘My oldest (7) suddenly stood with my complete sex toy collection in her hands’

Marcella (34), married to Rodney (37), mother of Shanna (9) and Eli (7).

“My husband Rodney turned 35 and we celebrated extensively. It was still pre-corona and old-fashioned cozy, I estimate there were about sixty people in our room and garden. To increase the festivity, there was also a lot of family from Suriname left.

A head like a tomato

I was busy preparing the noodles, baras and chicken spring rolls when I heard a lot of laughter and cheers from the living room. Curious, I approached the sound and saw our eldest daughter Shanna, then seven years old, standing with her nieces, holding my entire sex toy collection in their hands. Apparently the ladies had been playing hide and seek in our bedroom and found such cute purple and black vibrating things in the back of Mommy’s wardrobe. My sisters-in-law were in awe. But I saw my mother-in-law change color and I too got a head like a tomato. How did I get out of this? Rodney was of no use to me. My husband laughed just as hard and pretended to be crazy.

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Toys for mom and dad

In the end I dragged Shanna into the bedroom by her arm, with the vibrator collection, and calmly explained that it was ‘a toy for mom and dad’. That later I would explain why, but that she would now be better off playing with her own dolls. Shanna responded very coolly: “Okay, great mom.”

I think the party bag of chips I gave her to hand out helped her forget the subject. The birthday party, however, kept laughing at me that night. I ended up pouring myself a large glass of rum-cola. At least I had a reason to have such a bright red color on my cheeks.”

This one that went wrong is in Kek Mama 13-2021.

Curious about more mothering blunders? Every Monday you can read a new ‘That went wrong’ story on Kekmama.nl.