“That night we kissed, the three of us”

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Are you suddenly having Christmas dinner with not one but two loved ones? You never know at Christmas.

Sanne (34): “Casper and Marilou had done everything they could to give me the warmest Christmas possible, two years ago. I had been divorced more than a year before and had spent that Christmas alone with my daughter Lotte, who was then one and a half. I felt intensely lonely.

I was invited by family and friends, but I couldn’t bring myself to go. I had no room in my head for parties. My ex cheated on me so unbelievably, my heart was broken. He had run off with a good acquaintance and barely looked at Lotte. While I was trying to keep myself going during the holidays, he was in Austria with his new love – a nice week of skiing, or so I heard. I felt hurt and humiliated. I couldn’t imagine ever being happy again.

In love

That spring I had met Marilou through my work. From the first second there was a connection, a friendship. She once invited me to her home, where I met her friend Casper. I find it difficult to explain, but there was an immediate spark between the three of us. There was already tension that first night. It confused me quite a bit.

“I find it difficult to explain, but a spark immediately flew between the three of us”

I fantasized about Marilou even though I had never kissed a woman before. What was I supposed to do? I had hated my ex because of his crush on someone else, now I fell in love with the girlfriend of a – now – good friend. And at the same time, Casper didn’t leave me cold either. But hey, I couldn’t destroy their relationship, could I?

Out of the box

It’s that Marilou brought it up first, otherwise I think I would have kept it to myself forever. “I’m in love with you,” she said. I was shocked and tearfully admitted that I had feelings for her too. Emotions were pretty high. I left out that her boyfriend also gave me butterflies in my stomach. That only came up when the three of us were together a week later.

We drank a glass of wine and loosened up in what we shared. Marilou said she told Casper she was in love with me. ‘I already knew that’, Casper took over the conversation. And then the thing I never dared to think happened: Casper said he had the same thing. Out of sheer stress, I poured another glass of wine for all of us; I quickly knocked back my own glass. I really had to cross a threshold for myself. This was so out of the box.

“It went so well between us that we ignored all possible criticism from the outside world and went for it”

That night the three of us kissed. Casper and Marilou asked me to sleep over, but I wasn’t ready for that. I wanted to take it one step at a time, not rush anything. Yet I now live with them. Things went so well between us that we ignored all possible criticism from the outside world and went for it. That didn’t go without a hitch for me. I didn’t dare look at my parents when I told them. “Girl, as long as you’re happy,” my father responded. My mother joined in; I was so relieved.

Read also – ‘My husband wants to grow old together, but in separate houses. Even now that we have two children’ >

A big family

Marilou and Casper have five-year-old twins. They already had a big house, which I could move into with Lotte. We are one big happy family, which people no doubt have judgments about – a judgment I might have had before I got into this. We all sleep in a huge bed together and have a family life like everyone else, I think. Also with us bickering about laundry lying around and the groceries.

“We are one big happy familywhich people undoubtedly have their opinion about”

The first Christmas we celebrated together was magical. It was so at odds with the Christmas before. When I think back to how I sat there alone with Lotte on the couch, tears still come to my eyes. With Marilou and Casper I found my happiness again. We had a very civilized dinner together on Christmas Eve and watched a Christmas movie. On Christmas Day we had put a mountain of presents under the tree. I really thought I would never be happy again, but a year later it had already happened.”

This article is in the Kek Mama Winter Book 2022.

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