Sports clubs hassle: ‘And I just drive across the country every week for home and away matches’

soccer dad

Ilse (33), son of 8: “After the first sex ultrasound, my husband Jeff bought a soccer romper. I was pregnant with a son and so his big wish could come true: he was going to be a football father. From the new Cruijff or Messi – he set the bar nice and low. Six cloth balls were placed in the cradle to train the leg muscles. When he was two, Jari (no joke, he had to be named after a football player and the name Johan went too far for me, so it became a different hero) to Ajax and from the age of five he is in the gnome group of the football club where Jeff has always clenched.

Now Jari is eight, he owns almost all official football club uniforms, has more balls than Intertoys and trains three times a week. Unfortunately, he’s not the talent Jeff was hoping for. Teammates laugh at Jari when he gets the ball, because he either kicks it into his own goal or plays it to the opponent. Everyone in and around the Under 9 team is talking about ‘Pietertje’ – quite after the Calvé advertisement in which Pieter van den Hoogenband appears not to be able to play football. I barely understand football, but I understand that Jari has absolutely no talent. Only Jeff doesn’t see it. Or don’t want to see it.”

Chicken Hockey App

Jolanda (39), son and daughter of 12 and 10: “In itself it is really nice that my daughter has such a nice hockey team and that she is fully committed to her sport. But the social life it gave me was not meant for me. We are in a group app with all parents, which I always refer to as ‘chicken hockey’. It’s about everything except hockey.

There is talk about car defects, wrongly bought shin guards, the ugly training outfit and winter sports plans. In one evening I have 45 new messages. As far as I’m concerned, we use the app to pass on messages like: ‘Myrthe is sick and won’t be there on Saturday.’ Or: ‘Ride to the away game? Gather at the Gamma.’ But those kinds of announcements are snowing under and as a result there are regularly children waiting for transport at the club or we don’t have a single change at the game.”

‘She doesn’t compete’

Linda (33), daughter of 8: “Mila wanted to play hockey. I thought that would be nice for her, although I’m not really into sports. In my mind I already saw her cycling with those nice girls and then such a hockey stick in hand. Anyway, bought everything: stick, clothes, shoes, mouthguard. She started with the minis, after a few months she would join a team. Mila skipped enthusiastically across the field, dancing more than playing hockey, but she had a good time.

After three months, she was able to join the team. “Nice Mila, then you will play games.” She looked at me like I was crazy. “Matches? I do not want that!” There was no more to talk about. My kid doesn’t compete, period. She dropped out of hockey. Own fault, what was i thinking? She is a copy of myself.”

bar service

Dagmar (35), two sons aged 13 and 10, daughter aged 9: “Of course, bar services are part of a tennis club. But hello, that would only have to be once a season, wouldn’t it be an afternoon every month? I do not know. Maybe it’s because all three of our kids are at the club and our effort is therefore expected to be three times as well? I’m too shitty to refuse. I don’t want our children to be looked down on because their mother doesn’t feel like baking chips and selling licorice on Sunday afternoons. But to be honest, I have better things to do.”

Hello, they are seven z

Babet (36), son of 7: “What is it about, I always think when I hear how other parents of our basketball minis rave about the selection procedures before, during and after games. The tension and stress about who will come first and who will be placed in the so-called bruise team. Folks, they are seven. Seven! Call me old-fashioned, but I just want Beau to have fun throwing a ball.”

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‘Sporting incentives’ from the stands

Zola (33), son of 6: “Jens went on judo last year, turned out to be quite strong for his weight and got the yellow belt fairly quickly. When he was asked to participate in the points competition and therefore had to compete in judo every month, we thought it would be a lot of fun. Only: once in the stands it is difficult to enjoy that little man. In principle, we as parents can only encourage positively, but that is apparently open to several interpretations. I’m annoyed by the screaming and ranting next to me: ‘Then grab him!’, ‘Throw him on the ground!’, ‘Armklém, armklém!’ I am not an aggressive type, but after two minutes of this kind of ‘sporting exhortation’ I am able to hurt other parents.”

‘She lay motionless on the floor’

Jessica (41), daughter of 9, son of 7: “’I want to get rid of horse riding,’ said Sascha, as we drove to her lesson. I’m stressed. We have our own horse, why did she want to get rid of it? She didn’t like it much anymore, she said. I knew exactly what she meant. She was in a group with children who were very daring. Sascha is not such a daredevil. I was relentless, “You’ll finish this season.” She grumbled, but I had already paid and horseback riding is an expensive joke.

I sat behind the glass of the cafeteria watching her. Her face was like thunder. She clearly didn’t feel like it. Suddenly her horse flew off. She galloped through the box and I screamed. As I jumped up, she flipped off and lay motionless on the floor. I thought she broke her neck. I was in total panic. It all turned out not to be too bad, but that was the last time she drove.”

250 kilometers in one weekend

Kathinka (37), two sons aged 14 and 9, daughter aged 5: “Never knew that the Netherlands has so many sports fields and gribus canteens. I think it’s wonderful that my children participate in sports, but nobody told me in advance about the kilometers you have to travel. Every week I drive across the country for home and away matches, because they take the designation ‘competition in the region’ very broadly with us at the association. Sometimes I reach 250 kilometers in one sports weekend.”

‘I dare not look’

Marit (37), son of 8, daughter of 4: “I die a thousand deaths every other weekend. Then my son enters the karting competition. I think karting is dangerous, but my husband is crazy about it and so is our son Cédric. Those weekends are all about karting. The courses are located throughout the country and a race is often several days. We travel as a family with our motorhome to save hotel costs.

During Cédric’s competition, I take our daughter to a playground or we play games in the camper, while I look at the clock with a knot in my stomach. I saw that boy drive once. After that, never dared again. I screamed at every turn and foresaw the worst accidents. I am happy every time we drive home without having ended up in the emergency room.”

great ballerina

Tanja (29), daughter of 5: “When is it enough? I ask myself that question every week. Nikkie likes to go to ballet class, but afterwards it is always crying. Because teacher was so strict, she had to stand still but couldn’t, certain dance steps didn’t work. Or because she was chatting too much. As far as I’m concerned, we’ll stop with those classes. I don’t need a prima ballerina, I want her to skip and dance for an hour. But Nikkie doesn’t want to stop despite her weekly vale of tears.”

This article was previously published in Kek Mama.

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