“Six weeks after giving birth, he wanted sex again, but I didn’t yet”
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If you have a child, chances are that all the love and attention will go to your newborn baby. It is therefore quite logical that after giving birth you are less interested in your partner. Lisa (29), mother of Mitch (1), recognizes this. “At the beginning I felt distance between us.”
Lisa and her husband Nick met in 2015 through Tinder. They never expected such a successful relationship to come out of it. “It all went very quickly, after six months we rented a house together. We sometimes received reactions from those around us: ‘Oh, isn’t that a bit fast?’ they asked. But we thought: if it feels good, then it feels good. We are now married, we own a house and we are parents of a son. Lisa found her pregnancy very special. She especially found the moments when she felt her child in her belly very special. She was happy as the end approached, especially for Nick. “He said he was happy that he was finally able to bond with the child. I understood that very well and wished him that too.”
Intimacy
Six weeks after giving birth, Lisa noticed that Nick had an increasing need for intimacy. She was less concerned about that herself. “When you become a mother, you take on a dual role: that of mother and partner. I wanted to focus on my new role as a mother. But I couldn’t forget Nick. So when Nick felt the need to be more intimate, I noticed that he also needed a little more attention from me. I also like cuddling alone, but that might be different with men.”
Read also: Recovering after childbirth under good supervision
Relativize
“I read in Cookie Mom an article on this topic. That it is more common for men to feel the need for intimacy a few weeks after giving birth, while women are not always ready for it. I recognized myself very much in that and I enjoyed reading that I was not the only one, that others feel the same way.” Fortunately, Lisa had an easy pregnancy and a quick delivery. She recovered quite quickly and after a while she was ready for more intimacy with Nick. “At a certain point I thought: let’s just try it. And luckily that went pretty well.”
Closed
“It is nice that we have found the intimacy again. Yet I notice that my libido has become lower after the birth of Mitch. I don’t have to have sex every week anymore. When I lie in bed at night, I’m glad I can sleep, then I’m tired. What also doesn’t help is that I’m afraid that Mitch might hear us.” According to Baby Op Komst, babies are not bothered when their parents have sex. A baby doesn’t know what sex is and doesn’t know the embarrassment we have either. A good atmosphere between parents is very important for a baby. And remember that you can enjoy each other in many ways, it might be wise not to penetrate the first time.
Read also: Sex after childbirth
Lisa thinks she and Nick are on the same page when it comes to sex, but he doesn’t talk about it easily. “We agreed from the start that if there is something, we should discuss it. That is sometimes difficult, because he is a bit more closed. Yet I know I can say anything to him and he knows he can say anything to me.” Many partners are very reserved after giving birth. This is out of fear that they will hurt you, but also because they are concerned about how things will go. If you notice that your partner isn’t approaching you, try talking about it. This can be very relieving and you may also discover why the other person does not seek rapprochement, says Baby Op Komst.
Only
Lisa and Nick have now been able to get used to life with the three of them for over a year. And they love it. “We are very happy together. Yet sometimes I still miss those moments when Nick and I are alone for a while. That Mitch is with grandpa and grandma, so that we can go out for dinner or to the movies. That we are only partners, and not father and mother for a while. Only it just doesn’t happen. But we certainly have nothing to complain about. At least we have the money to do something fun, that is of course not self-evident. There are also plenty of families who would like to do this, but don’t have the money for it. So I am very grateful for that.” Lisa is looking forward to the three of them’s first holiday. That was always not possible because of corona. “Then Mitch will be there of course, but you will not be bothered by all the outside influences. A wonderful break from your daily bubble.”
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Source: Baby Coming
