‘Should I involve my children (6 and 9) in my illness?’

Naoual (34) is married to Aasim (35) and mother of Adil (9) and Qadir (6).

“It’s not fatal, so they don’t need to know anything. That has always been my motto when it came to my skin cancer. But the spots, as I call them, spring up like mushrooms. And that’s how I make up an excuse every six months, when I get stuck again.

Awareness

“How strange,” a friend said recently. ‘Skin cancer is so common, and isn’t it important to educate your children about it? Because by being careful with exposure to the sun and rubbing well with a high protection factor, you can prevent a lot of misery.

Moreover, if they see what it does to their mother, it may motivate them to use the sun or sunbed more consciously.’

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Tell the background

Now my kids know that mom sometimes has ugly spots that the doctor cuts off. But they are getting older and there comes a day when they want to know what the background is. According to my husband, words like “cancer” and “carcinoma” would only cause panic. But eventually about 1 in 6 Dutch people will develop skin cancer, and by no means all forms are life-threatening. Couldn’t I be more honest about it then? Or are they still too young for that?”

More episodes of the dilemma? Every Tuesday there is a new story on KekMama.nl. Read the previous dilemmas here.