‘She turned out to be going through exactly the same thing as me’

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They didn’t have much in common without children, but now that Fenna and Samira are both mothers, they seem to get along better than ever.

Fenna (26), mother of a son of 5:

“I never had that much with Samira. We went to high school together and happened to live on the same street, both still with our parents. I was vaguely friends with her, mostly because we went to the same parties, but we weren’t really close. I found her rather distant, she boring me, I now know.

Unplanned Pregnancy

And then I got pregnant unplanned when I was 21. My boyfriend and I decided to go for it and a beautiful, but also difficult time began. I had a job in childcare, my boyfriend worked in construction and together we were able to rent a house. When I had to do some work, my friends were there for me, because with my big belly I couldn’t stand on a kitchen ladder.

“After a week, everyone expected me to go out and go shopping again”

When our son was born, they were there too. A week. After that, everyone expected me to go out and shop again – the baby could go in the pram, right? At that time I often felt lonely, because I had such a different life than my friends. For example, the only ones who understood me were colleagues who were a few years older. And they had their own girlfriends.

Also read – Nice girlfriend turns out to be a terrible mother: ‘He is tearing down my house and she is watching’ >

fellow mothers

Until I walked down the street with the pram at my parents’ house and ran into another woman with a car. Samira, who had become a mother a few weeks before – she was 22, and she did it on her own. We started talking and it turned out she was going through exactly the same thing as me. Girlfriends didn’t understand her, other baby mothers were years older, often ten or more. We exchanged numbers, I said, “Call me for colic tips.” I still have to laugh about it, my friends exchanged tips against hangovers.

“In no time we were so close that we went to baby swim together every week”

The same day we were texting about sleep schedules and baby eczema. Within a week she came to see me and our babies “played” together, which we both thought were super cute. Samira turned out to be much nicer than I thought. In no time we were so close that we went to baby swims together every week and babysit each other’s children when the other needed some time or needed a nap. I was so lucky to have found someone my own age who really understood me and with whom I could chat for hours even without a child, about anything and everything.

Close bond

Our children are now five and going to school. One of my ‘old’ friends has now also become a mother. Those friendships have remained and will probably deepen as more babies arrive, but my bond with Samira is the closest. Sometimes people say, you’ve given up so much for your baby. Maybe, but there was also a lot in return. A special friend, for example.”

This article appears in Kek Mama 08-2022.

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