Sanne became pregnant with her free range: ‘We really panicked. What should we do? ‘

“At the abortion clinic, I was given a compulsory five-day reflection period. I didn’t expect to need that time; I didn’t want a child at all. My life was just going well. I had been in a relationship for eight years, I had completed a study, I had a nice job as a communications consultant and I was partying all the time. Especially in the pub where William was behind the bar. I always came there for Thursday afternoon drinks, but since I was single I also had drinks on Wednesdays and Fridays.

I was temporarily babysitting on a floor above the pub, William lived below me. Great fun, especially when William and I got together. You can’t even call it scratching. We liked each other, but neither of us had any expectations. I did not use contraception because my body reacts violently to it. I used an app to keep track of my fertile days. When things started to take shape between William and me, I didn’t want to take any chances. I bought a copper coil and went to the doctor to have it inserted.

Test

But no matter how the doctor tried, she couldn’t get through my cervix. She thought I had an adhesion and referred me to the gynecologist. But he first wanted to rule out the possibility that I was pregnant and sent me away with the message: do a test and come back next Monday.

I forgot her assignment almost immediately, thinking I was going to have my period any minute. It wasn’t until I was on my way to a festival the Saturday before my doctor’s appointment that I thought about it again. I soon passed a test at the drug store and put it in my handbag. A friend later asked what was there in my bag … I explained that I had to do that test the next day, I was not allowed to spiral before.

Pregnant

I was in bed at five o’clock, at ten o’clock I took the test with my brackish head and was shocked. I knocked on William’s door, who had actually only just got home. “I have to tell you something,” I said. A bizarre moment. In July my relationship had ended. I kissed William for the first time in August. Now it was October and it turned out that I was already seven weeks pregnant. So most likely I got pregnant one of our first times.

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We really panicked. What now? That Sunday we walked all day in the city dazed. The next day I made an appointment at the abortion clinic. But when I was allowed to return five days later, I did not want to terminate the pregnancy. We’d had a twilight week of sorts. Our feelings went from one place to another. William was super sweet, he would follow me in every decision, but deep down he had a strong desire to have children. Meanwhile, our conversations made me more and more emotional. I was less and less able to say yes to an abortion wholeheartedly. In the end we canceled the appointment and went for the child.

A new life

That was three years ago. We love our daughter, but it hasn’t always been easy. In the beginning, we built the baby around our lives. Took her in the cart when we went out to dinner or used the baby monitor when we wanted to have a drink in the cafe down the road. I cycled all over town with Nova in the Maxi-Cosi on my handlebars and when she was eight months old we took her to New York.

But we have gradually matured and adapted more to her. We now live in a single-family home in a suburb, but a second child is unlikely to come. I think the impact of a child is simply too great for that. In retrospect, our big advantage was that we were madly in love with each other. As a result, we were able to handle the ups and downs well. Plus that Nova is so nice and cozy that we can have her there. ”

This article can be found in Kek Mama 02-2021.

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