‘Parents who can leave things alone: I envy them’
Jannine Berkelaar is editor-in-chief of Kek Mama. She and her husband Erik have daughter Elin (9) and son Mats (7).
Motherhood gave me a large portion of impatience. I find it quite explainable, because: the more tasks, the less time and therefore less patience.
I’m in sixth gear almost every day. Interview Elin while I make sandwiches and clear out Mats’s closet while I call the dentist. Once in this gear it is difficult to downshift. Not for Elin and Mats, because they often take extensive time for – in my view – trivial matters. Lounging before bed or hearing elaborate stories about the fourth episode of the sixth season of Ninjago: I don’t have the patience for it.
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Patience
And while I fully justify this calculation to myself, I try to teach my children to be more patient when they want, know or ask something from me. “Yes, I am on my way.” “Mom has to go first…” “Five more minutes and then I’ll really come!” Before I find the peace to tinker, play or watch, I have that endless list of tasks to finish.
Parents who can leave things alone; I envy them. I take comfort in the thought that patience is a great asset and that this exercise will ultimately bring a lot to Elin and Mats. Especially when they are allowed to raise children themselves. I can already see it completely before me that I can watch from the sidelines as a wrinkled granny. But now I’ll have to switch back to gear 1 or 2 more often. Will I succeed? It’s a matter of patience.
This editorial can be found in Kek Mama 03-2022.
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