Niels Geusebroek wrote a song about guilt due to the arrival of a second child: ‘I felt selfish’

On the weekend that Niels’ partner Saskia was due with their second child, daughter Loulou, the singer was suddenly overcome by different emotions. “I had just brought my son Noah to my parents when a feeling of sadness and melancholy came over me on the way back. What is that, I thought. Only when I felt it for a moment did I understand where it came from. The next time I saw Noah, the situation had completely changed. And it would never be the same.” It was very double, because at the same time Niels was eagerly awaiting the arrival of his daughter. “But it was also sad that such a beautiful situation, the three of us, came to an end.”

Therapeutic Writing

What Niels especially struggled with was the guilt towards Noah. “The trinity we had for four years—Daddy, Mommy, and Noah—was going to change. It felt a bit selfish, because we had never discussed the wish for a second child with him. We just thought it would be nice for Noah to have a brother or sister. He just had to accept that.” There was also the big doubt: is there enough love for him and his sister? “I had no idea how that worked. Should I divide my love between the children?” Once home from his parents, Niels had a huge knot in his stomach. “I immediately picked up my guitar to almost therapeutically write off those feelings. Pretty quickly I came up with a text that gave me enough satisfaction at that moment to stop again. It was not my intention at all to write a song that night.”

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The same story

A few months later, Niels – who is now a proud father of daughter Loulou – has a writing session with friend and musician Yoshi Breen. “We usually start such a session by chatting: what is going on in our lives? Yoshi mentioned that in a few weeks he would become a father for the second time. He looked forward to it, but also felt a little selfish and guilty. I looked at him and thought: are you kidding me now? That’s my story. When I played a part of the song I had started earlier, I noticed that he had red eyes. He recognized himself completely in the text. So I knew exactly what we had to do: we had to finish this song together.” This is how Room For Two was born, which according to Niels is perhaps his most personal song to date. “I am proud of every word in it. I was able to describe exactly what I felt at that moment. Not only me, but also Yoshi could put his egg in it, because we both had the same egg, haha.”

Enough space for two

Niels and Yoshi wrote Room For Two in such a way that they reassure their first child, but also themselves. “As if Noah was wondering if there was enough love for him and his sister. In the song I actually tell him: don’t worry, things are going to change, but a lot of things stay the same. We don’t know exactly what the future holds, but we will always be there for you.” Now the question is: was there after the birth of Loulou room for two? “Yes, right away. As if a new source of love had been tapped. Of course, as a parent you always feel a kind of guilt when it comes to dividing attention, but that’s part of it. Noah does not think there is room for two, because he has to share everything with his sister, haha.” To parents who are expecting a second child soon and who struggle with the same feelings of guilt, Niels says: “It will be fine. That unconditional love is always there.”

Listen Room For Two by Niels Geusebroek below on Spotify.

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