‘My child also goes to the BSO during the holidays’
Image: Kyra, HashtagK
Lilian Finn (31) is an author, speaker and designer. She is married to Charles and mother of son Nox (4).
We are blessed: of the six weeks of school holidays, we have four weeks of holiday ourselves. We also leave as soon as possible and then thoroughly enjoy a lot of time with the three of us. But in the last week of our holiday, our Nox just goes to the shelter. Yes, while ‘just’ being at home and having a holiday.
If you had told me that five years ago, while I was heavily pregnant, I probably would have looked surprised. Your child put away during your vacation? While you only have so few days of vacation a year? For me that was a no go. The people around me that I tell about it wouldn’t make that choice either. It feels illogical to celebrate a holiday without the whole family. Especially when both parents work and there is little time for each other during the weekdays. And yet it is the best choice for us.
(Not so) apple and egg
That first holiday with the three of us was an eye-opener. In normal weeks we make a lot of time for each other: we always eat together and we regularly go out with the three of us at weekends. Such a family holiday seemed like a piece of cake to me. How different could it be from home? Well, having a child around you 24/7 without your usual safety net is not easy. I honestly find it easier to get a job done than to soothe an overheated baby teething. In a foreign country, where you don’t speak the language and where you can’t have a cup of coffee with him at a girlfriend’s as a distraction. At the end of the holiday I wondered: when does my holiday actually start?
That is why we made a choice at that moment: we were going to do things differently the following summer. We would divide the tasks better. No longer with the two of us on the baby, but in turns. That gave some peace. But what worked best was sending Nox to the host parent for a few days. He played nicely there with the other children and we had a few days to recover. Get rid of the laundry. Complete the renovation. Spend time with just the two of you. Nox now goes to school, the childminder has been replaced by the BSO. And yes, we have now also booked this one for our last week.
Countdown
Now I hear you thinking: nice for you, but that’s not cool at all for your child, is it? I can tell you, the Nox is happy that he is going to the BSO. After three weeks of nothing but mom and dad, he’s really ready for some time with friends again. He counts down the days until he can go to the after-school care holiday. He looks forward to the fiddling and tinkering with the teachers, treasure hunting with the children in the sandbox and the theme week that is different every school holiday.
Honestly, he doesn’t know any better, of course. But I see my child reviving after a day with other children and getting back into his normal rhythm. As far as I’m concerned, going to the shelter during the holidays is a win-win for both sides.
