‘It’s nothing to be ashamed of’

Photo: Orange Fund – Remko de Waal

“We have been good friends for a long time. A few years ago we came across an article that stated that 56 percent of mothers sometimes feel lonely: a high percentage,” says Karin. Yet this feeling was also recognizable for the two. Lisette: “Before I became a mother, I had a busy and social life. I often went to sit on a terrace with my friends. ‘When the time comes, I’ll just take my baby with me,’ I shouted. Now I mainly think: ‘How naive, actually’.”

Karin and Lisette noticed that loneliness occurs in many mothers when they read responses to calls on Facebook. Lisette: “Sometimes there were 500 reactions from mothers who wrote that they recognized themselves. Then we thought: we have to do something about this.”

Threshold

But honestly saying that you sometimes feel lonely as a mother is still quite a barrier. Especially if you have a large network around you. “Therein lies the misconception. Loneliness doesn’t mean you have no one around; you just feel alone at that moment”, says Lisette. “And it’s not that you’re not happy, because you’re thankful that your dream has come true. So you don’t want to complain to others either.” According to the two, that threshold becomes even greater when you only see the perfect picture of other mothers on social media. Karin: “Many women will measure themselves against this. Then they feel like a bad mother, because they don’t feel that conscious pink cloud. We believe that this should be discussed. That that’s nothing to be ashamed of. And that you are not a bad mother if you sometimes feel lonely.”

Mommy Friends

On the Mommy Friends site you can sign up and fill out a profile. How old you are, how old your children are, what you like to do and what you like to do with your children. You can also specify exactly what kind of friendship you are looking for. Via the matching system you will see profiles that match yours. That way you can send messages and meet up with each other. “We also organize events online ourselves. A pleasant evening for mothers, where you can pay attention to yourself. Also to lower the threshold for mothers who find it exciting to meet someone just like that,” says Karin. Now that the corona measures no longer apply, they also want to organize real life events. Speed ​​dates for moms, for example. A fun and playful way to get to know each other. A wine tasting, a ladies night and a mother and child event are also on the list.

Comments

Lisette: “The reactions we get from mothers are heartwarming. They are happy that this initiative exists and wonder why it hasn’t been around longer. But we also hear from mothers with older children who have already left home that they needed this when their children were small. That gives us confirmation that we are doing the right thing.”

The girlfriends also both have a profile on the website and already several matches. By participating themselves, they experience that it works. Karin: “Members don’t always know that we are the founders, so you are also approached by mothers and you receive messages. It feels nice to experience it yourself. I think that’s why the initiative fits so well. We are the target audience ourselves.”

Also curious? Go to mommyfriends.nl