Influencers Lizet Greve and Rebecca Boektje about their friendship

Image: Mark Groeneveld

When influencers Lizet Greve and Rebecca Boektje met at a work event, it was love at first sight. They became best friends in no time. “We are completely different, yet cut from the same cloth.”

“So,” says Lizet when she plops down next to Rebecca in the café. “I have two sick kids who just puked on me… Just give me an espresso.” They laugh and hug each other. Seriously, Lizet continues: “I still feel a little guilty that I’m sitting here now. And that while the children are just with my friend. Weird right? Mother guilt I think that is perhaps the hardest part of being a mother.”

Helicopter view

Rebecca shakes her head: “Not for me, I find patience really the biggest challenge. But I think it’s important: I want to be a patient mother. At times when the smallest is dawdling and doesn’t want to wear shoes, I feel my annoyance rise. Instead of getting angry, I do my best to stay calm and get over that anger moment. It is really great if that works out, because then everyone is happy and in the end it only costs me three seconds of my life.”

Such a helicopter view does not always work, of course. “I’m only human, so sometimes I explode. But I really don’t think it’s possible to shout very loudly, so if that happens, I explain why I’ve reached my limit and apologize.”

Lizet: “I regularly get back: ‘Do you have to have your period, mom?’”

Lizet: “When I, out of sheer powerlessness, shoot out of my shell, I also explain to my children that I have a short fuse because I’m tired, grumpy or on my period.” Laughing: “Nowadays I regularly get back: ‘Do you have to have your period, mom?’”

Chill moms

Lizet Greve, stylist, lifestyle blogger, mother of Zoë, Vic and Sammie and Rebecca Boektje, travel blogger and digital creator, mother of Yuki, Ravi and Xan, are more than colleagues: they are, above all, good friends.

That spark flew when Rebecca approached Lizet five years ago during a work event with the historic pick-up line: ‘I think you’re also a chill ma who doesn’t whine like that!’ Rebecca laughs: “Right. When I meet someone, I immediately hear yes or no in my head. With Lizet it was clear: good appearance, nice clothes, chill vibe. I knew within two seconds that she was a nice woman.”

Rebecca: “I knew within two seconds that Lizet was a nice woman”

The love turned out to be mutual; they messaged each other more and more often and eventually they also met live, resulting in a close friendship. Lizet: “I immediately liked Rebecca because she has a huge mouth, but is also very sweet. You know exactly where you stand with her, and that’s a good thing, because I hate underhanded stuff. You don’t have to be afraid of that with Rebecca, she is honest and direct. Both online and offline.”

Rebecca: “I don’t mince words; on Insta I talk like I talk to my girlfriends. Some people have to get used to that, fine, this is what it is. There are also colleagues who present themselves completely differently online, which is not for me.”

Read also – ‘My mother constantly posts my children on social media and I don’t want that’ >

Real and honest

Can you be yourself too much?

Rebecca laughs: “I didn’t think so. Until I recently went crazy on Instagram about a crying baby on the plane. It was the middle of the night, everyone wanted to sleep, that baby kept crying. Everyone recognizes such a situation, right? I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I just thought it was humorous to rant about this.

A few hours later I received a message from one of my followers; she turned out to be the mother of ‘that crying baby’. How big is that chance? That woman felt so guilty, which made me feel guilty again, because it was really meant as a joke. I’ll think twice now before doing something like this. I like blunt humor, but that’s only possible if people know what you are like. That’s why I would never want to go above 50,000 followers. The larger your audience, the more noise your channel will get.”

Rebecca: “I like blunt humor, but that is only possible if people know what you are”

Lizet: “Then you also have to take hate watchers seriously into account, which makes it more difficult to remain completely yourself – while that is what makes it so much fun! Credibility is the most important thing to me. I think it would be terrible if people would say that I am ‘so different in real life’. That’s why I show everything as it really is, without 180 filters. But, as real and honest as it is, I would never put myself in a bikini on Instagram.

Shortly after Sammie gave birth we were in a holiday home, I can still see myself walking around in the swimming pool there: fat, ugly, white and deeply unhappy with my own body, I could cry. Just as I plunged down the slide, my hair all over the place, a woman was waiting for me who recognized me. She was super sweet, but I felt so naked and vulnerable at that moment that I really wanted to disappear. Apart from such moments, I like it when people recognize me and they can see everything about me.”

Children in the picture

So your children too?

Rebecca: “I don’t shield my children online, but I haven’t done commercials with them for a year now. Fair is fair: baking cookies for a video is really different from ‘just baking cookies together’. There’s a lot more to it. But I made that decision mainly because my children were approached in the playground by an adult who recognized them as my children. That makes me feel uncomfortable: you’re not going to address toddlers if I’m not even there, are you? My kids don’t even know what I do, or what Instagram is! If I film something, they think I’m calling grandma, they have no idea.”

Lizet: “My children also come into the picture, but as they get older, I become more picky about what we do or don’t do. A baby like Sammie is glued to me non-stop, you can’t escape that. But since I found out that my daughter’s girlfriends are also secretly reading my account, I’ve become even more careful. For example, I never get involved in political discussions. I do have an opinion, but I share it at home on the couch. My account just needs to be a nice happy place.”

Insta world

Rebecca: “The Insta world is pretty messed up. How often I don’t get requests from clients who want to pay out a campaign in, let me name it… scrunchies. Of course I thought that was super cool in the beginning, but now I have to pay my mortgage with it: it’s my job. Otherwise I will have to move to a cardboard box with my scrunchies! That may sound arrogant, but Lizet immediately understands what I mean. That’s nice. Instead of colleagues in the office, we have each other.”

Lizet laughs: “That ventilation is worth its weight in gold. It is better to blow off steam with each other in the event of such irritations than to become unkind to people who undoubtedly mean well, but do not understand anything, for example with their scrunchies.”

say no

Are you also so clear in motherhood?

Rebecca: “I think so. I am sweet and caring, but absolutely in charge. If it’s minus 10 outside and my kid throws a tantrum because he won’t wear his coat, he’s got the wrong one on me. It’s cold and I tell you to put on a coat, done. No discussion.”

Lizet: “With me, no is also a clear no, but quite a lot is allowed”

Lizet: “We are similar in that respect. For me, no is also a clear no, but quite a lot is allowed. I’m not afraid of junk. Sometimes I tend to say no too quickly because I don’t feel like it myself or I’m tired, but I consciously pay attention to that. Dangerous things are not allowed: climbing out of the window, taking something out of the oven yourself, no. But if they have a nice plan, then I usually say: just do it, why not?”

The whole article is in Kek Mama 02-2023, available in stores from 31 January.

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